


Coup D'etat

by foona



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jotunn!Loki, NOT INCEST!!!!, Romance, Rough Sex, not canon, this is not incest guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-09 11:42:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4347272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foona/pseuds/foona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Loki thought all hope is lost, he is saved by the last person he thought he would meet - his adoptive sister. The god of mischief is called back to take his place as ruler of Jotunnheim, but when a complicated past arises, he must navigate his way back through the history of his homeland and mend the broken relationship he now has to face with the reader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys this is my first marvel fic, so please let me know if you liked it - I will be updating frequently and please keep in mind THIS IS NOT INCEST!!

Loki sat in the all-white prison cell, resting his head on the wall and sitting in the far corner as he usually does these days. Nothing interesting ever happens anymore. He kept failing to rouse the other prisoners, they’ve all gotten used to his trickery to ever be fazed anymore. The god of mischief sighed, blowing a stray of black hair away from his face. He needed an adventure – or better yet, a companion.

A loud bang pulled him out of his haze and he scrambled to the glass separating him from the outside world. The brunet looked around to see the origin of the noise, but nothing came in sight. He decided it must have been one of those bumbling brutes above the cells training again and went back to his original position in the corner. Loki grabbed a novel from a tall stack of thick tomes and proceeded to read a random page – one that he’s certain he’s read a million times already.

Suddenly, a loud tapping on his glass startled him from his stupor. Loki refused to look up to see who interrupted his solace – probably Thor or one of his lackeys.

“Hey!!! Helloooo!! Loki hurry the fuck up!!” a female voice echoed through the dimly lit hallway.

Loki directed his gaze towards the glace, and to his surprise a woman with (h/c) hair and (s/c) color was staring, no glaring at him, attempting to capture his attention. The god cautiously moved closer to the glass, holding his palm flat against its surface.

“Who are you?” he asked slowly

You sighed deeply, rolling your eyes before cocking your hips and uttering, “I’m your sister Loki, and while that may be hard to believe, I need you to not ask any questions for now and help me get you out”.

Loki knitted his brows together and contemplated what the woman said before replying, “How… I uh don’t have any magic left remember, since you know I’m a prisoner here”

“Yeah I know dumbass, I put Odin under an influencing charm before I came to get you. Your magic’s back, now get yourself out of here”

“Why don’t you do it? You’ve already gotten so far as to help me escape, you must be quite powerful yourself”

You rolled your eyes yet again and answered, “Yeah I got this far by fighting off about a two hundred guards and hypnotizing Odin – speaking of which, more guards are coming, so I’m not exactly in tip top shape when it came to using what’s left of my magic”

Loki nodded in understanding before shattering the glass in front of him into a thousand pieces. He proceeded to run out of the dungeon hallway, you trailing behind him asking him to slow down because you have the stamina of a wounded alcoholic veteran.

After dodging several dozen guards and killing many more, you and Loki managed to escape to the bifrost and charm immobilize Heimdall before opening the bridge to Jotunnheim.

The rainbow bridge zapped into the night air and you grabbed Loki’s hand before running towards the icy realm you call home. Once the two of you were safely in Jotunnheim, you held his hand tighter and teleported to the palace. Loki panted harshly as he took in his surroundings. It looked just like it was when he had seen it last, albeit with a few Jotuns walking around repairing pillars of ice.

“It has been a long process to restore the palace brother dear, after your attempt to destroy it a few years ago” you spat dryly as Loki slowly walked around the grand, grey room.

“Yes, evidently that wasn’t the best course of action”

“Huh you tell me”

The room was silent for a few moments after that, Loki watching as you ascend the steps of the throne and sprawled yourself on it. The god of mischief slowly walked towards you, head cocked to the side in contemplation before stopping himself in front of the steps to the throne.

 “So um, tell me more about the part where we’re related?” Loki asked, a hint of frustration and confusion coloring his tone.

You tossed your head back and let out a small chuckle. “Right. That must be very confusing for you”

“Indeed” 

“Okay, well… let’s get dinner and I’ll debrief you so to speak” you reply with a smile, descending from your throne and donning a fur coat that a servant had ready for you on the side. You walked towards the large oak doors leading to the dining room and looked over your shoulder, beckoning Loki to follow you. 

The dining room was no less grand and refined from the throne room, a carved gigantic block of ice was made into a dining table and you sat at the head of it. Loki followed to sit on your right as you called a servant to pour the both of you some wine. You took a sip from the ornately carved crystal glass before setting it down and folding your hands in front of you. 

“So Loki, let’s begin with the fact that we’re not actually related” you began

“But-”

“Loki, my dear, I don’t love telling this story even to myself, so please will you just be quiet and save the questions until the very end?” you chided, a threatening look crossing your features.

Loki looked down at the golden plate before him, which now holds a bowl of green soup on it.

“Anyway. So as you know, you are the son of Laufey, who was the ruler of Jotunnheim before you slayed him. After Odin stole you from Laufey, he sought a new heir to the throne. Your mother was slain in the battle Odin fought before he adopted you, hence Laufey needed a new wife. Shortly before he began his quest for a woman however, Laufey visited Vaneheim in search of a new ally to battle Asgard with. He was successful in having an ally, one of the mercenary groups of Vaneheim deciding to side with him should there come a bloodbath in the future. As a promise of his loyalty, the leader of the cult gifted Laufey with his first born daughter, me. Despite Laufey’s want for a male heir, eventually he started caring genuinely for me, and decided I would be fit to fill the need of an heir one day. Unfortunately of course, when word reached Laufey that there was unrest in Asgard over Thor and you fighting for the throne, Laufey’s old wishes for a male heir returned to him. He asked me, shortly before coming to Asgard and murdered by you, that if anything should happen, that I should retrieve you and name you king of Jotunnheim”. You finished the story with a sigh and stared at the cold second course of roasted lamb before you. Finally you turned your gaze upon Loki, awaiting a response from the dark haired god.

“Wow… I didn’t know Laufey had another child after me”

“Of course you didn’t. You’ve spent your entire life on Asgard, knowing nothing but contempt of the place you were born in. I have toiled my entire life to protect the people of Jotunnheim, to learn the ways of my father and vowed to one day rule in peace!” Your voice slowly escalated in volume staring down Loki with the harshest glare you could manage.

You suddenly slam your hands on the ice table and stand menacingly over Loki. “You. Know. Nothing. You may be Laufey’s biological son, but you slayed MY father and took away EVERYTHING from me!” you roared as loudly as you could into the pale man’s face.

Loki swallowed and closed his eyes slowly, contemplating everything you said to him. “I would like to apologize for your loss, I never meant to cause any of it, well save for the slaying your father part – I meant that-”

The silver-tongued god was cut short by you grabbing his collar and hoisting him in the air. “Do not speak of my father that way. You have no right to further desecrate his memory by speaking of his demise lightly”. Taking a deep breath, you slowly lowered him back into his chair and sitting back down yourself.

Loki took several deep breaths before asking, “You didn’t have to come for me,  you could have ruled for yourself… Who would dare oppose someone as uh menacing as you?”

You rolled your eyes at his description of you and answered, “Loki, I know you would and have gladly done that to your adoptive father, but I for one actually loved Laufey. He took me in when my real father saw me as a burden. It was his last wish that you would be made king and I have to honor that”. You cast your eyes downwards and willed the tears pooling into your eyes away.

A long moment passed filled with only the sound of heavy breathing and wind blowing into the room before Loki quietly muttered, “I’m sorry. I know it means nothing but I would like you to know that I think you would have made a better ruler than I. I’m not a stranger to having everything taken away from me you know”. He slowly moved his hand to rest on your back, rubbing it in small circles to comfort you.

You wiped a single tear away from your eye before promptly pushing your chair back and standing up. “I appreciate the sentiment Loki. You will begin your lessons tomorrow, for now I must bid you goodnight. A servant will show you to your quarters and you will find everything you need ready there. If you need anything, just ask a servant or myself”.  You walked away quickly, leaving a confused and guilt-ridden Loki behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo did you like it? Leave a comment, kudos or bookmark to let me know! were there major plot holes or things you were annoyed at? let me know by commenting and i'll be sure to reply and keep your suggestions in mind.


	2. The Redemption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello this is the second chapter... things are starting to get better between the two of you but there's definitely more work to be done before you could start to truly love each other.

A loud knocking roused Loki from his sleep. He pulled the luxurious velvet curtains of his four poster-bed open and rubbed his eyes roughly to attempt to see in the darkness. The knocking stopped but started again just as he attempted to continue his slumber.

“Loki!! Open the door right now, I don’t have time for this you know!” you shouted from the other side of the ornately decorated mahogany doors.

 “I’m coming just give me a minute to appear decent” Loki grumbled tiredly, taking off his loose green tunic over his head and throwing it haphazardly on the bed behind him.

You waited and tapped your foot impatiently on the stone floors, rolling your eyes as minutes passed and yet no Loki came out the door. Rolling your eyes, you decided that you have had enough of waiting around for a guest you would have preferred gone by now and entered the room by force. The sound of the doors opening with a loud bang startled Loki out of his attempts at putting his coat on and he whipped around quickly to see who had so rudely breached his personal space.

“Pray tell why have you invaded me like this?” Loki sighed exasperatedly

“Because I don’t have all morning to wait for you to apply makeup Loki, we actually have things to do around the palace” 

“Well it’s a good thing I had all my clothes on... or is it?” Loki teased playfully

You rolled your eyes and tsk-ed, walking out of the room with Loki trailing along on his own, painfully slow pace.

Once the two of you had exited the corridor leading up to his private chamber Loki finally broke the silence with a question.

“So sister dear, what important task could there possibly be for you to rouse me awake at this ungodly hour?”

“I have to give you lessons on Jotunnheim’s past and introduce you to your loyal _subjects_ ” you sneered at the last word, reminding Loki that he doesn’t deserve the luxury of being crowned king.

“Ah how tedious. Couldn’t we have started at a later hour perhaps?”

You whirled around and stopped Loki dead in his tracks, almost falling onto you. “Look Loki, you ungrateful brat. You may not be interested in the wellbeing of our people at all, understandable since you were your whole life an Aesir, but I care. Also please stop referring to me as sister, you’re not my brother and never will be especially considering the rather unpleasant way we met”.

“Hey you were the one who referred to me as your brother first” Loki said, raising one of his eyebrows mockingly.

You sighed before replying, “Yes I won’t refute that, but I have decided that while you are under my ehem guidance, I would like as little attachment to you as possible”. And with that you resumed walking towards the throne room, Loki shaking his head in disbelief over your cold attitude towards him.

Several Jotunn guards and royal advisers were standing around the throne as you opened the grand doors with little more than the flick of your hand. Your readied yourself, your ego mostly for the day ahead and began addressing your father’s advisors. Two large Jotunn men handed you thick scrolls – complaints from the people no doubt.

“Loki, these are Hagen and Leiknir” gesturing to the two men in front of you. “They were your uh father’s most trusted advisors”.

Hagen and Leikner bowed slightly to their future king and Loki acknowledged them with a quick nod. You gestured to the rest of the guards and servants, introducing them to Loki, and Loki to them, although they most certainly knew who he is already.

“You first order of business is to read these complaints and tell me what you would do about them, I suppose this should be challenging enough for someone who has never had to problem solve for other people in his spoiled life” you spat, handing him the scrolls absent-mindedly and going to sit on the throne.

Hagen and Leikner winced at your actions and the taller blue giant, Leikner went to whisper in your ear, “My lady, perhaps it is not the best course of action to be sitting on the throne, seeing as you are not the heir to it”. You swallowed and raised your head indignantly before coldly replying, “Yes of course, you’re right. It does not matter anymore that father tutored me and trained me to be the rightful heir to this throne”.

You stepped down from the ice-carved throne and peered at Loki reading the complaints. The first one was that Gudmond, a local troublemaker had burned down a villager’s house and his cattle as well as most of his property surrounding it. The solution appeared simple to you, take this Gudmond to court, only as a formality of course then sentence him to prison for at least 100 years. This may not be the most just course of action, but the common folk were simple and they wanted justice in the form they would understand. 

Clearing your throat, you addressed Loki to provide the solutions he has come up with for the problems at hand. To the Gudmond situation, he suggested the man be rehabilitated and sentenced to rebuild the villager’s house and properties. You scoffed at the idea, thinking it ridiculous that he would even consider doing such a diplomatic thing.

“Hah, Loki, do you honestly think you can appease the people by doing something as simple and lacking of authority such as that? You obviously have no sense of judgment when it came to appeasing the people” you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, staring off into the distance contemplating why your father had been such a fool.

Another incident involving a stolen child filed by Brunnhilde was tackled in a similar fashion. You coming up with what you think would be the absolutely best solution based on what your father would have done, and Loki coming up with an overly complicated and diplomatic solution. Several more of these occurred, problem after problem before Loki threw the scrolls on the ground angrily. You gasped, not really paying attention before this and turned to see Loki storming away aggressively. Everyone in the room stared at you, willing you to do something to appease the future king.

“What an absolute brat” you thought, annoyed at having to chase him down.

After walking around for what felt like hours, you finally stumbled upon Loki in a hidden corridor in an unused wing of the palace. “You really ought to stop using that cloaking spell Loki. It makes it very hard for me to find you”

“Yeah that’s kind of the point” Loki sarcastically replied

You slowly slid down the cold wall until you came to sit beside Loki, staring into the wall across from the both of you in the narrow corridor with a single torch lighting the area. Nothing but the sound of breathing filled the space until Loki spoke up, “I don’t have to do this you know. This wasn’t my choice coming here and I certainly do not deserve to be treated like unwanted trash”.

“Actually Loki, if you haven’t forgotten, the only thing keeping you from returning to rot in an Asgardian prison is the threat of war if Odin decides to retrieve you from here, so you kind of don’t have a choice in being king of Jotunneheim”.

Another longer moment of silence continued before Loki inhaled, as if to say something but then decided against it.

“What is it, you want to ask me something” you asked, careful to maintain your voice at a gentle tone and not rolling your eyes.

“Why do you hate me, you know aside from the fact that I’m taking your position – which was never my choice by the way! I think we could even be friends if you wanted to, seeing as no one else here has any connection to me but you”. Loki slowly uttered, carefully assessing your features for any hint of a reaction.

You sighed, tucking a strand of (h/c) hair behind your ear before replying, “I don’t hate you Loki. I envy you as you know and the only way for me to make myself feel better is to make your time here as torturous as possible. Truth is, I’ve actually been kind of lonely since father left. None of the advisors care about me as much anymore after knowing that I won’t be anything but a lowly princess after you’re crowned king”.

“I know how that feels. I’ve been lonely ever since Odin decided Thor would be a worthier heir than I. You know we actually have more in common than you think”. Loki scooted a little closer, turning his body so that he was facing you in the dark corridor.

You took a moment to ponder what he said, and he was actually right. Loki was an adopted child too, coming so close to inheriting a throne rightfully his to suddenly having everything taken away from him by his brother. He must have felt like he never belonged, only just recently finding out about his true identity. You had never felt like you truly belonged either, standing in stark contrast with your (s/c) and stature compared to the icy blue frost giants covered in battle scars and having glowing red eyes. Perhaps you had been too harsh on Loki and he certainly didn’t deserve this sort of treatment, especially only just arriving to Jotunnheim – a place that must be quite foreign to him despite his ancestry. Finally you turned your body to face him and took his pale hands in yours. 

“Tell you what, how about I promise to be nicer to you from now on? Or at least attempt to,” you suggested, a smile tugging at your lips.

“I would like that very much thank you” Loki smiled, rubbing small circles onto the back of your palm with his thumbs.

“I would also like to apologize, for my cold demeanor and my less than pleasant welcome of you back to Jotunnheim. I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge you and I hope you would forgive me and perhaps we could start over again?” you looked at him from under your lashes, gauging his reaction to your apology.

“I forgive you (y/n). Perhaps now we won’t be so lonely seeing as we have each other as company?” Loki smiled playfully, pulling your hands onto his lap, playing with your fingers absent-mindedly.

“I’d like that” you replied, embracing him in a warm hug, slowly stroking his raven hair affectionately. You pressed your lips cautiously to his forehead, tasting a slight salty taste from his sweat and savoring the peppermint smell of his hair. You pulled back slowly and got up from the cold stone floor, pulling Loki up with you.

“I didn’t know you were so… touchy feely (y/n)” Loki smirked, moving his hands to rest behind your back instead.

You chuckled, looking at him with a playful side-eye. “Only to people I like having around” you replied, letting him lead the both of you back to your respective quarters.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, please leave a comment, kudos or bookmark to let me know if you liked the story/want me to continue. i'm happy to receive any suggestions to the plot or character development so feel free!! I will update almost everyday since it's summer anyway :D


	3. The Respite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter here but cute hehe

Loki and you sat on a frozen tree branch in one of the far gardens of the palace. Watching your feet dangle precariously about ten feet off the ground, you chuckled to yourself. It has been roughly a month since you rescued Loki from Asgard and you couldn’t believe just how well you two got along. Being that you were born of different families and raised in completely opposite worlds, you would have never expected Loki to be one of the only confidantes you found in the palace.

“Okay so tell me again why you think Thor is a dumb oaf?” you asked, in a mockingly quizzical way.

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes, laughing because he knew this question always riles him up. “Thor is just oh god he is inexplicably stupid and irrational sometimes. There was a time when I was attempting to court a fair maiden in my youth and he was so oblivious as to what I was doing that every time I would approach her, he would come bumbling over with his soiled outfit and muddied hair and proceed to tackle her into the ground as if she was another playmate of his. It’s unbelievable really I mean that man – the future king of Asgard?”

You laughed quietly at yet another one of Loki’s stories and waited for him to continue his rant. “How about you? Any weird things happen in your childhood?” Loki questioned.

“Ah let’s see… I mean I was always alone that’s one thing. See, I think one of the hardest things about being adopted and living in Jotunnheim was the fact that I was always shorter than everyone! At (y/h) I’m practically a dwarf compared to the frost giants. The shortest giant I’ve met was a 10 year old and even she was 8 feet tall,” you shook your head in mock disgust and looked sideways at your new friend, smiling at him.

“You are quite petite my dear. I’m pretty sure if I transformed into my Jotunn form I could swallow you,” Loki jested.

“Oh stop it you,” you chuckled, playfully slapping his arm. “Besides, you don’t seem like the type to swallow,” you eyed him carefully, unable to stop yourself from making the crude joke.

Loki looked appalled, placing his right hand on his chest to indicate that he’s hurt. “And why is that? Being a spoiled, apathetic god has nothing to do with my abilities in bed you know,” Loki sarcastically countered.

At that moment you heard the branch you two were sitting on crack. You swallowed and held your breath, hoping it was nothing. You smiled nervously at your companion as you heard another loud crack and this time the branch started to move at a downward angle. Before you had time to react or use your magic, the two of you were sent falling down onto the freezing snow below you.  

“Argh what the heck!” you exclaimed, rubbing your arm which had partially cushioned your fall.

“Huh speak for yourself,” Loki groaned. You looked to your left and realized that he had cushioned most of your fall. Quickly you scrambled up and helped him onto his feet, brushing off the snow on both of your coats. 

“Oh gods I am so sorry Loki! I didn’t mean to fall on you,” you quickly uttered, checking to see if he was hurt.

“It’s all right really… it was actually quit fun to have you on top of me,” he smirked, earning a playful scoff from you.

Before you knew it, Loki had pulled you down onto the snow, this time pinning you under him. You gasped and squealed, realizing you had just been attacked. Playfully, you started pushing him to get off of you and attempt to roll away from under his hold. Eventually you stopped resisting and slowly began laughing.

“Loki seriously I’m getting quite cold,” you complained, only to be replied with an apathetic look from the god of mischief. 

“I’m not letting you go (y/n),” Loki chastised, in a mockingly stern way.

“Well I’m getting out one way or another,” you replied, a cheeky grin on your face.

“Oh yeah, how my dear?”

At a lost for words, you honestly didn’t know how to get out from under him – aside from using magic that is. You sighed and looked him dead in the eyes, hopefully threatening him to let you go. Seeing as your ‘intimidating’ stare didn’t earn you a response, you decided to take a chance and do something wildly out of the blue. You lifted your head and pressed your lips softly against his. Loki froze, not expecting you to do something like that – especially when you had never shown your affection explicitly in a romantic way before. In his moment of being distracted, you quickly pushed him off of you, got up and ran a couple of feet away from him.

“Ha! Told ya I was gonna get away,” you panted, pointing at him proudly.

Loki slowly got up and brushed the snow away from his pants. “What was that (y/n)?” he smirked, clearly noticing that you are trying to avoid discussing the fact that you kissed him.

“What was what?” you innocently asked him back, slowly moving backwards and away from him.

“Oh don’t pretend like you don’t know you crafty minx,” Loki teased, matching every step you took backwards, towards you. 

“I don’t know – please enlighten me on what I did Loki, I’m so lost… really,” you shook your head and raised your arms in an act of ‘surrendering’. Your feet kept moving backwards before you feel your back hit the trunk of a large tree. ‘Shit’ you thought.

Loki quickly caught up to you and stood in your way, making sure you couldn’t escape him. “What did I do Loki?” you whispered, the cold air from your breath hitting the god’s pale face.

“This,” he replied quickly before capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You raised your arms to cradle his jaw in your hands and stood on your tip toes to deepen the kiss. Loki gently pushed you farther against the tree trunk and began licking on your lower lips, willing them to part for him. You moaned quietly and felt your lips slowly parting, allowing the god’s tongue to delve into your mouth. He stroked your (h/c) hair and slowly massaged the base of your scalp, as your tongues melded together and you felt yourself running out of air. Loki felt your need to breathe and pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, the two of you panting and smiling softly at each other.

“Thank the gods we’re not actually related sister dear,” Loki whispered, a playful glint in his eyes as he emphasized the last two words.

“I told you never to call me that again, brother dear,” you jokingly replied, as he held you close in a warm embrace.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll update more tomorrow!


	4. The Rallying

Todays was finally the day that Loki would tour Jotunnheim and make his first official public appearance as king. You had finally deemed him ready to speak to the people without making a fool of himself or causing an uproar – which is highly unlikely because he is quite the charmer. Despite the occasional banters and storming out of rooms, the dark haired god and you had managed to create a compromise of sorts, in which he would use some of your more ‘harsh’ policies but blending it with his more diplomatic and subtle ones.

You were quite baffled through this all, because for someone who was willing to destroy Midgardians for his own sake, Loki was actually quite kind and benevolent. Perhaps he would make a great ruler after all. The closeness you felt to Loki sparked a small hope in you, that perhaps when the time came Loki would allow you to rule alongside him. You couldn’t bear the thought of never being able to have a say in what happens to your beloved realm and of course you still had a small inkling of fear that Loki wouldn’t make the right decisions.

As always every morning you knocked on Loki’s chamber doors to remind him that he still has duties to accomplish. Thankfully for you, after the first few mornings Loki was more prompt in getting himself ready – even rising earlier so that he won’t keep you waiting as he cleansed himself.

“Good morning Loki,” you greeted with a smile.

“Yes it is indeed quite a pleasant morning, perhaps for a stroll?”

“Well good then, today you’ll have to tour Jotunnheim and meet your loyal subjects,”

Loki chuckled to himself, swiftly following behind you as you debriefed him on all the villages and districts he will be visiting. 

“You’re coming with me right?” Loki quietly asked when you were finished with your list.

“Of course Loki, I wouldn’t let you even look at a Jotunn villager without me being there,” you teased.

You led Loki into the throne room, where Leiknir and Hagen were waiting with Loki’s prewritten speech and a list of village elders and leaders who must be greeted. A female servant quickly scurried to where Loki was standing and placed a thick velvet coat of deep green on his shoulders, tying it with a silver buckle around his neck.

“Loki you can’t come out there looking like an Aesir, you must take on your Jotun form now,” you noted, helping pat down unruly strands of raven hair on Loki’s head. 

Slowly, Loki’s true form began to emerge and his already impressive height began to increase, until he fully emerged as a blue skinned, 10 foot giant with battle scars decorating his face and torso. His glowing red eyes stared at you as a small smile appeared on his face.

“How do I look?” he asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Gigantic. But otherwise really good Loki, now let’s go the carriage is waiting,” you beckoned him to follow you as you made your way out the giant doors and into the gigantic open roofed carriage. Giant black horses began pulling the carriage away from the palace and you pulled a thick crimson blanket over your lap to fend off the chilly weather of Jotunnheim. 

“The first stop is Hrodgaier’s village your excellencies,” Hagen announced, obviously quite preoccupied with arranging their stops with the coachman. The ride to the first village felt like forever, going down steep hills and going up even more. Crossing frozen tundra of nothingness until you finally spot several fires burning in the distance. You heaved a sigh of relief as you turned to your side and shook Loki’s shoulders to awake him from his slumber. 

The god of mischief blinked his eyes slowly, rubbing them aggressively to fully awake himself. He reached up his right hand to hold your cheeks and whispered, “Am I in heaven?” You rolled your eyes and moved away from his hold to step out of the carriage with Hagen and Leiknir. Holding out your hand to help Loki step out of the carriage you replied, “No Loki but you are in Hrodgaier’s village, and if heaven was like this I would gladly be immortal”.

Your group entered the village slowly, herds of people lining the streets, throwing flowers and ribbons at Loki’s feet. Jotuns were chanting his name, cheering for their future king. Loki did his best to wave at most of the people, even picking up the frost giant children and carrying them for a while before returning them to their respectful, overjoyed parents. You watched the raven haired man carefully, making sure he’s doing his duties well. He most certainly is entertaining and pleasing the crowd, and you couldn’t help but smile softly to yourself as you saw how affectionate he was with the people. Perhaps Laufey was right – he was born to be king.

The day went on in that fashion, visiting village after village – some of the rich and some of the poorest of all. Hagen seemed to have saved the worst for last, because when you entered Tjostalf’s village, you were at awe with their living conditions. Huts were haphazardly strewn together, dying embers of fire were scarce and the whole village appeared abandoned and distraught. Jotuns still lined the streets to greet their future king, but you noticed that they were smaller, more solemn looking. A river ran close to their village, its murky waters hitting the sharp rocks in it mercilessly. Aside from that feat of nature, you didn’t see anything else pleasant to see in this particular area. Hagen had informed the both of you that these were nomadic people and that they rarely settle in one place for a long time.

Loki did his usual rounds of greeting people, holding ladies’ hands to his lips and kissing them politely. You were going down Hagen’s list of villages and important people, blocking out the sound of people chanting Loki’s name and peppering him with praises. Suddenly you heard it – a piercing scream emanating from near the river. “ASFRID!!!” a woman screamed, over and over again. Loki and you ran towards the commotion and saw a panic-stricken woman kneeling beside the river, reaching out to a child being carried away rapidly by the violent current.

Without hesitation, Loki took off his mantle and cloak before jumping into the waters. He carefully navigated the sharp rocks and held out a hand to the crying little girl, who was hanging onto a rickety fallen branch. He took hold of her little hands and pulled her into his embrace. Carefully he walked back to the river’s edge and handed the child back to her mother’s arms. “Thank you so much your highness, thank you thank you thank you!” the mother hurriedly exclaimed, peppering kisses on her daughter’s face.

“It was no problem at all. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel if one of my children were to be swept away by a river,” Loki replied, a warm smile decorating his features.

You walked away, relieved by how the events unfolded but quickly turned to Loki and asked with a brow raised, “you have children?”

“(y/n) I am over 1000 years old and quite reckless with women, of course I have children,” Loki replied, his expression telling you that he’s amused and this should have been quite obvious to you.

You shook your head and brushed the information aside, following him back to the carriage, the sound of cheering and praises from the villagers coming from all angles. A smile suddenly broke out on your face as you linked your arms with his. “My hero,” you praised, looking up at his sharp Jotun features.

“Anything to win your approval my dear,” he replied, placing a quick kiss on your cheek.

When you returned to the palace, Loki was sound asleep, so you asked Leiknir to carry him back to his bed chambers. You pulled the thick fur blanket over his sleeping figure and pressed your lips to his temple. “Goodnight my king,” you whispered, running your fingers through his smooth silky hair.

As you walked out of the room and closed the doors behind you, Loki slowly opened his tired eyes and watched your figure leave his line of sight. He smiled and hugged one of his larger pillows closer to his body, wishing it was you instead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave comments/kudos/bookmark heheh i want to know if you guys are genuinely interested in the story so far! don't worry i update everyday so check back often :D


	5. The Reminiscence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh this chapter took the longest to write argh but i like how it ends :) and so sorry if you find any grammatical mistakes throughout the story - i don't have a beta so i just update when i'm done writing.

It was one of your favorite leisurely things to do around the palace, so you decided to bring Loki along to help you bake. The countless amounts of servants made it easier for you to make a mess and simply make whatever you want with no consequence, and you enjoyed that very much.

“(y/n) I don’t cook,” Loki said emotionlessly as you attempted to drag him out of bed.

“So did I at first, but it takes practice, so hurry up!” you exclaimed, tugging on his left arm aggressively. Loki groaned dramatically before pushing the blankets off of his body and following you out of his chambers in nothing but his pajamas.

You cheerfully glided along the expansive halls of the Jotunnheim royal palace before sighing contentedly to yourself and pushing open a rather smaller door into the royal kitchen. This was your preferred entrance way, because rather than having a hoard of kitchen staff berate you on what you were going to make (or rather destroy) today, you would much rather enjoy having time for you to prep on your own. You decided that a parfait would be what you would attempt to make with Loki this morning, since it’s one of the simplest desserts out there.

Fruit was definitely the centerpiece of any parfait, so you walked over to an array of large woven baskets of freshly imported fruits from other realms (since Jotunnheim is too cold to grow any) and carefully picked out the most appetizing fruits. Loki watched from over your shoulder as you pointed and mused over the obviously vital choice of fruits. You decided upon blackberries, apricots and pears, motioning at them for Loki to help you carry over to the work stations. Collecting a small basket of ripe blackberries, you began to lay out on the kitchen counter two ornately decorated glasses, two large bowls, three knives, a cutting board several wooden spoons and two small spoons.

You assigned Loki the task of washing the fruits and cutting the apricots into thin slices. As you began simmering a pot of premade compote for the pears to cook in, Loki contemplated whether to start a conversation with you. He eventually decided upon it and remarked, “you know, for all the time we spend together, I really don’t know much about you”.

You wiped the remains of the compote on your fingers on the apron you were wearing for replying, “what is there to know about me?” you smiled softly at him, chuckling to yourself internally at how boring your life has been so far.

“Well, tell me about your childhood. What was it that I missed since I was so painfully taken away to Asgard,” Loki dramatically motioned, the knife in his hand swinging wildly in the air.

You gently pulled his arms down, afraid that he would accidentally injure himself while speaking. “You didn’t miss much, most of my life has been studying and practicing to be the future ruler of Jotunnheim. Laufey didn’t spend much time on nurturing me, he was too preoccupied with revenge upon Asgard to be a proper father to me. However, in the little time that he was around, he was always very kind and gentle. As I’ve told you before, I really did love him and I could understand why he couldn’t always be there at least emotionally when I needed him.

Loki nodded in understanding, staying silent as the only sounds in the room were the hustle and bustle of the kitchen staff and his knife slicing away. “how about friends? Did you have any?” he asked. 

You chuckled, stirring the pears in absentmindedly. “I used to. I mean I had one really good friend, but then he left. The funny thing is, I never really bothered with having any friends. All the servants and Laufey’s royal followers were very kind and friendly to me, so I felt like in a way I had good company without actually having friends per se”.

“Interesting… tell me more about your friend, was he a lover too?” Loki mischievously asked, winking at you when you stopped stirring to glare at him.

“No Loki he wasn’t a lover, we were twelve,” you exasperatedly explained. “He was the son of a visiting diplomat from Alfheim. His name was Andlang and he was absolutely beautiful – as an elf should be,” you dazed off, looking into the light streaming from the large windows in nostalgia. Loki patiently watched you, waiting for you to continue telling him about Andlang. You carefully scooped up the pears from the pot into a wooden bowl and continued, “Andlang only stayed with us for a year, but we became fast friends. He was lighthearted, kind and was always cheerful. He looked so different from a frost giant. Oh Loki he was majestic. He had long, flowing golden hair that gleamed in the sun and the most glorious olive skin that I’ve ever seen – not that I’ve seen a lot being around Jotuns. Andlang didn’t look that different from me. We both looked…” you trailed off, not really knowing how to describe how you both looked that the frost giants didn’t look like.

Loki appeared slightly confused, offering, “normal? Beautiful? ”

You gasped, turning to look at him with your hands covering your mouth. “No of course that’s not what I was going to say. Frost giants are… different but no less majestic than any other race in the nine realms,” You quickly replied.

The raven haired god chuckled, returning to his task of washing the blackberries. “I was just teasing you my dear, do not fret about it”.

You sliced the pears into thin, red pieces before remembering a story you wanted to share with Loki and smiled to yourself. “You couldn’t possibly think I don’t enjoy seeing frost giants do you? I was raised practically as a frost giant – and my first lover was one too” you said in a matter of fact way.

Loki cocked his left brow and said, “Oh do tell (y/n)”.   

You drummed your fingers on the kitchen counter as you contemplated where to begin telling the story. “Well, his name was Ingvar first of all. He’s actually Hagen’s cousin and he was training to be a warrior in the army. I met him while father was doing his regular meeting with the head of the army and I decided to trail along with him,” you paused, wondering if you should tell him the happy or sad version of this story. You decided upon the former, hopefully he wouldn’t pry on the emotional details.

“We were both eighteen and so very happy with life. Ingvar wasn’t the hopeless romantic type and he didn’t really respond to my advances at first. He was much more preoccupied with advancing his military career. Eventually we began a quite tumultuous but passionate affair until he was sent off into battle at Nilfheim. When he returned several years later… well he wasn’t quite the same. He had been promoted as the leader of the troops, seeing as the old leader was thrown off a cliff mysteriously. Ingvar spent more time on military tactics than on me, so suffice to say, that was how it ended,” you finished, a few tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

Loki pondered what you had said, placing the now chopped up fruits into the small glasses and arranging them so that all the colors would be stacked properly. “Did you love him?” he asked, cautiously looking at you from under his lashes.

You poured cream from a jug into one of the wooden bowls and began whipping it quickly. “I suppose I did. Alright it’s not so much supposed as much as I definitely did. He showed me the unparalleled attention I’ve always craved from those around me, and he certainly wasn’t bad in bed either,” you giggled, staring at the cream instead of Loki. You poured in some powdered sugar into the half stiffened whipped cream and continued to mix.

“Well I’m so sorry that ended so poorly,” Loki offered, taking the bowl from your hands and continuing to mix it himself. “I’m sure your other escapades in romance have been more successful”.

“Actually, I haven’t really been with anyone else besides Ingvar. Laufey’s death came not long after my relationship ended, so I had been preoccupied with running the royal affairs since then,” you explained, making sure to emphasize the part about Laufey’s death.

Loki hummed in understanding, “I would have thought a beautiful young woman such as yourself would have caught the eye of more than one man”.

You laughed audibly at that and nodded your head slowly. “Of course there had been others, I was just too busy trying to be queen to entertain anyone else. Although when the mood struck, I wasn’t adverse to any… bed warmers,” you playfully explained, eyeing Loki from your periphery to observe his reaction. The god of mischief chuckled to himself in response, shaking his head in mock disbelief as he finished whipping the cream.

Loki dipped his index finger into the cream and scooped up a dollop of the white mixture for him to taste. “Oh this is delightful,” he remarked, more to himself than you, as he took another dollop and sucked his finger clean. “You simply must try this (y/n),” he continued, eyes closed in contentedness.

You reached over to try the cream but Loki slapped your hand away before you got to dip it into the rich goodness.

“Ah-ah, let me,” Loki whispered, dipping his index finger in the cream again and holding it in front of your face.

You looked at his finger, too surprised to do anything at first, but then tentatively poked out your tongue to taste the cream. You looked up at him through your lashes and saw that he was waiting for you to continue before wrapping your lips around his pale, slender finger. Even though it took only a few seconds to clean the sweet cream off his digit, it felt like ages to you. You pulled off his finger and licked your lips to get rid of excess cream around it. “You’re right, it does taste divine,” you giggled. “Although, it might benefit from a little extra sugar,” you mentioned, never leaving his eyes as you said it. After adding a pinch of sugar in and mixing it, you added generous dollops of cream onto the stacks of fruit and sprinkled some granola on top. 

“There! ready to serve,” you announced, proud of the easy dessert you both accomplished.

You picked up one of the small silver spoons and took out a large serving of fruit and cream from the glass. You held it up in front of Loki’s mouth and waited as he slowly ate the spoonful of dessert. “It tastes delicious (y/n),” he slowly muttered, an almost sensual tone to his voice.

“I’m glad you liked it,” you cheerily replied, reaching over to grab another spoon for him. Before you knew it, Loki suddenly pushed your hips against the table with his body. You almost dropped the parfait in shock, but thankfully you had time to set it down before wrapping your arms around the raven haired god’s neck. Loki began kissing down your neck, slowly sucking on each kiss before moving lower towards your collar bone. You sighed and mewled as he did this, wishing his lips were on yours instead of your neck.

“Loki kiss me,” you whispered, barely audible but just enough for him to hear. He complied, moving up to capture your lips in his. He moved his lips slowly, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth when you opened yours willingly to him. Loki tangles his fingers in your (h/c) hair and uses his hips to push you against the table even more. You moaned in his mouth, raising your left leg to wrap it around his waist. He took this as a cue to lift you to sit on the table as he slowly pushed you down onto the table. You broke away from the kiss at that moment, panting for air and staring lovingly at the god hovering above you.

“I need you (y/n),” Loki whispered, his eyes dark with lust.

You wanted him so badly too, feeling the pooling warmth in your nether regions. However, you felt like this certainly wasn’t the right time for it. The older you get, the wiser your choice in lovers became, and you weren’t completely sure if you wanted the emotional consequences of being with Loki in this way.

“Not yet my dear,” you replied, your voice quiet as you stroked his silky smooth dark hair.

Loki huffed in protest but helped lift you from the table and held you against his sturdy frame. He felt warm and comforting, and you couldn’t help but shut your eyes and just revel in the moment. You moved your hands to stroke his muscular back and enjoy the feeling of letting everything in the world go away for a moment and just be with him. Loki slowly let you go from his embrace but held you at arms reach. He searched your (e/c) eyes for a moment and kissed your lips again briefly. Loki was silent for a while, parting and closing his lips as if he was going to say something but decided against it. 

The god suddenly moved his lips to your right ear and whispered, so quietly but felt it like the loudest sound you’ve ever heard.

 

“I love you (y/n)”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it! i will update tomorrow so no suspense or anything here.


	6. The Ramification

Today was one of the most exciting yet excruciating days for you every year. It was the beginning of feast week. Feast week usually happens leading up to a big event, in this case it would Loki’s coronation as king. Ever since you could coherently make plans, the job to organize feast week always fell on your shoulders. It was exciting and fun for the first several years, but as you learned that cooks were less than reliable most of the time and deadlines are closer than it seems, it became more of a burden than a recreational activity.

You created a list of what to do in the next week and what to order. It’s unbelievable how much prep goes into an event that would only last several hours in a night – with most of the guests being too drunk or rowdy to even appreciate your hard work. The meal would be as it always is – the traditional Jotun cuisine of various fishes and marine delicacies. Recently, due to your obsession with baking, fruits and vegetables were added to the menu – much to the children’s delight.

“Gurtrude!” you shouted, calling for the head of ‘general affairs’ per se around the palace.

“Yes your excellency?” The rather large giantess hobbled towards you, a stack of neatly folded sheets teetering precariously in her large blue arms.

“Take out a piece of parchment would you? I have to tell you what to do for the next week,” you muttered, preoccupied with the piece of parchment in your hands to really look at Gurtrude. The giantess quickly took out her handy dandy parchment note pad and waited for further instructions.

“Please order 50 oak tables, they must be OAK Gurtrude. I can’t tell you how many times they gave me teak instead of oak. Also order 200 barrels of the best mead, wine and spirits – save the cheaper ones for last of course when all the guests are drunker …” you continued on your tangent on what to buy, where to buy it and how to buy it and this went on for a couple of hours before you were completely exhausted.

Gurtrude had run out of parchment and was now writing the instructions on the folded sheets. You would have chastised her for ruining perfectly good cotton, but decided the feast was more important. “Also Gurtrude, remind me to help Loki get fitted for his royal garments”.

“Yes madam, I shall do everything to the utmost perfection!” Gurtrude enthusiastically quipped, raising her arm in a victorious way.

“Gurtrude that’s what you say every year, and yet something always goes wrong. Do not let the debacle with the burning dress happen again, do you understand?”

“Of course madam, that was a one time event and shall NEVER be repeated as long as I’m alive and well”. You nodded at that and excused her, having to wake Loki from his slumber and help him learn who all the guests of the feat will be. 

* * *

 

Several days went by without any problems, and you were reminded, thankfully by Gurtrude that today the royal tailor will come to fit Loki in his royal garb. You met the tailor at Loki’s chambers where he was busily taking measurements of the god’s body.

“(y/n) please tell me this will be something I like wearing,” Loki pleaded, a hopeful look in his green orbs. 

“Don’t worry my dear, I created the designs myself and made sure to accentuate it with your ehem signature colors”.

 “That doesn’t really make me feel any better you know”.

You chuckled, slapping his arm playfully and watched his Jotun form in the mirror. “You’re going to look so beautiful on your coronation day,” you whispered, smoothing out his raven hair. Loki began to turn around in order to kiss you but stopped when the tailor yelped and shouted at him to keep still. 

“Aren’t you going to get fitted too?” Loki asked, with one of his eyebrows raised.

“I had my fitting this morning, most of the attention is on your outfit though. Why are you concerned?”

“Ah good, because I want you to look equally as divine when you’re standing next to me on coronation day,” Loki smiled, watching your face light up in the mirror.

You didn’t say anything in return, just placing a kiss on his shoulder and smiling softly at his words.

* * *

 “GURTRUDE WHERE ARE THE OAK TABLES?” you were trying your best not to pull out your (h/c) hair, storming down the halls, approving this and that and telling the servants off for lazing around doing nothing. The oak tables haven’t arrived yet and the feast was tonight. If there are no tables, there’s no eating. You couldn’t believe this was such a last minute problem, but you blamed it on your mind being too preoccupied with dish selections.

Gurtrude stumbled out of a hidden corner in the corridor, balancing a stack of porcelain plates in her arms. You took half of the stack away from her – fearing that not only would you not have tables, but no plates as well. “For the gods’ sake Gurtrude, where are the tables?” you flailed your arms madly, trying your best not to punch the woman’s face.

“It’s coming madam it’s coming, I made sure of it!!” Gurtrude panted, smiling nervously in an attempt to calm you down.

Fortunately, two hours later the delivery of tables arrived and you quickly collected all the male servants to carry the tables into the giant feasting hall. Now with only four hours left to the feast, it was time for you to dress yourself (and Loki eventually). 

You practically sprinted to your chambers, where several of your ladies in waiting were waiting with a hot bath and your outfit. Wasting no time in cleaning yourself, you merely scrubbed away all the sweat and grime from the day’s events and quickly towel dried your hair. One of your maids helped you slip on your velvet ruby red dress and matching gold accessories. You had to admit, it was such a hassle to wear these heavy pieces of jewelry, but my oh my is it always worth it. 

You sat at your large dressing table, wondering what makeup to do for your face. Deciding it was better not to do anything elaborate, you decided to do a simple look that would make your features glow more in the evening light. Your hair was pulled into a simple low chignon, with small tendrils poking out for a more natural look. Finally satisfied with your appearance, you quickly dashed out of the room to help Loki dress. 

Without even knocking, you opened Loki’s chamber doors forcefully using magic and found that he wasn’t even dressed yet. “Loki my goodness why are you not dressed yet?” you quickly rushed over to him and pulled him out of bed.

“Relax my dear, I was simply rehearsing what to say in front of everyone,” Loki lazily drawled, pulling his arms free of your grip and starting to dress himself. You helped tie his tunic around his slender neck and sat him down in front of the dressing table. 

“You look amazing by the way,” Loki smirked, pulling you down so that he could peck you quickly on the lips. You rolled your eyes playfully and began combing out his thick hair. Once it was styled to perfection and no strands were falling out, you pulled him to his feet and wasted no time in bringing the two of you to the feast hall.

Once Loki entered the hall, he was met by deafening cheers, applause and praises. It felt like thousands of people were lifting their mugs of ale as he walked by, waving and smiling at all the right people. You felt so proud seeing him beloved by the people like this, not forgetting to wave yourself at the people Loki missed.

Loki sat at the head of the largest table in the middle of the hall, you on his right hand side. Without further ado, he stood and clinked his glass. “I would like to say something, as your future king,” Loki began, and with that he was silenced with the sound of cheering. The god of mischief cleared his throat and continued, “Several months ago, I would have never dreamed of returning to Jotunheim, let alone as the heir to the throne. My adoptive sister as you know, saved me from the clutches of the Asgardians,” he took your hand in his and raised you to stand, applauded by the crowd, “and returned me to my rightful home. I wouldn’t be standing in front of you all today if it wasn’t for her. She is the one who is truly capable to lead I tell you,” Loki chuckled, and the booming sound of laughter erupted in the hall. He smiled at you softly and you smiled in thanks at his compliment. “This feast is a celebration of love, friendship and the bright future ahead of us. May it always remind all of us of the importance of camaraderie and what it really means to be a Jotun. I promise you my brothers and sister, we will rule once more as the most majestic realm of all,” Loki’s words were drowned by cheering, stomping and the sound of men toasting and drinking. “But for now my people, please enjoy yourself, eat, drink until you pass out and be merry!” Loki sat down quickly after that, allowing the servants to finally bring out the hundreds of platters of various fish dishes, vegetables and fruits.

You took Loki’s hand in yours and squeezed it in an affirming way. “You did marvelously dear, they loved every single inch of your beautiful being,” you whispered, smiling reassuringly at him. Loki gratefully smiled, helping to take a spoonful of roasted vegetables for you.

The two of you ate, laughed and observed the kingdom that Loki would soon inherit. You sighed contentedly, knowing that Loki was almost ready to rule and that he would be a wise king. Suddenly, a large giant with an excessive amount of battle scars approached Loki and tapped his shoulder, his other hand carrying an overflowing mug of ale. You immediately recognized him as the leader of the army and stood to greet him. “Wagner!” you exclaimed. He took your hand in his larger ones and shook it fervently.

“Your highnesses,” he bowed, earning a polite nod from Loki, who was assessing him discreetly. “May I introduce my lovely daughter, Angrboda,” Wagner stood aside and nudged his daughter forward. She smiled happily at you and Loki, as Loki took her hand in his and kissed it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you my king,” she quietly uttered, looking quite starstruck to be in Loki’s presence. 

“Well technically I’m not king yet, but if being king means I get to be in the presence of beautiful women such as you everyday, then I gladly accept the position early,” Loki smirked, obviously enjoying making Angrboda feel more flustered.

You cleared your throat, not really enjoying his flirting eyes and Angrboda’s blushing very much. “I’m going to go see how the warriors are enjoying yourself,” you quickly said, standing up and leaving without anyone noticing. Storming away, you were feeling uneasy with the way Loki had treated Angrboda. You told yourself you shouldn’t be feeling jealous in any way, because Loki wasn’t yours and you didn’t know if you even have feelings for him. Alright you obviously have feelings for Loki, but why was it that you were so afraid when he confessed his love for you. You shook your head to clear your consuming thoughts and focused on entertaining the warriors. 

For the rest of the evening you didn’t return to Loki’s side, rather meeting important diplomats from other realms and doing your best to sell the new king. As the evening was coming to a close and most of the guests were passed out, you finally decided to return to your table. You noticed, however that Loki was gone and the area was mostly deserted. The servants all didn’t know where he had left, with some muttering that the last they saw was him with a giantess. You decided to ignore it and left to your chambers after giving instruction to send the drunken guests home.

You slipped out of your ruby dress and carefully laid the expensive accessories on your dressing room table. The warm bath was a welcoming feeling to soothe your aching muscles and you closed your eyes to finally have some time to think in peace. Perhaps it was the right time to consider your feelings for the god of mischief. Do you really want and care for him? Was this just a fleeting feeling brought on by your affection of him as a friend and companion?

Suddenly you were reminded of how you felt when you found out Laufey died. The heartbreak and absolute misery you were drowning in was something you never wanted to experience again. You thought of how fleeting life was and how you never know if he would be taken suddenly from you. Never again do you want to take life and the people in it for granted – so you made up your mind. First thing tomorrow morning you are going to express your love for Loki and made sure once and for all – he knew that you felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next couple of chapters are going to be smut! finally <3 but then some conflict happens and honestly those are my favorite scenes to write


	7. The Remidiation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> argh my first straight smut omg i didn't know this would be so hard! i hope it's okay and that you have fun reading it hehhe

You woke up peacefully – all thoughts and anxieties from the day before completely washed away for one beautiful, magical moment. But suddenly it all came back. You sighed deeply, climbing out of bed and considering chickening out of telling Loki about how you felt about him. Watching your figure in the mirror, you mentally debated with yourself about what would be more beneficial. A conversation with yourself began playing in your mind: 

“Didn’t you just have an existential crisis over this?”

“Yes but that was last night and I was all frazzled and shit”

“No that was your real, unadulterated feelings (y/n). I can’t believe you’re being such a wuss”

“Yeah but I’m kind of scared now… what if he changed his mind – what if he doesn’t actually love me and that was kind of a spur in the moment thing?”

“Whatever – life’s short! You or he for the matter could die at any second”

You finally stopped your train of thought and decided to just fucking do it. Brushing out your unruly hair and dressing yourself in a simple white tunic, you nervously and painfully slowly made your way to Loki’s personal quarters. Making sure not to make too much noise with your walking, you changed to tiptoeing instead as you got closer to knocking on his door. With bated breath you raised your fist and began knocking gently on his door. “Maybe I should just make a run for it, it’s not too late I mean I could just back out-” Your thoughts were cut short by a sleepy Loki opening the door in front of your startled face. 

“(y/n) I thought it was rest day,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes aggressively before glaring at you.

“Uh it is,” you muttered, shuffling your feet anxiously. “This isn’t about royal business Loki… I was um I was just wondering if we could talk – you know, as uh friends,” 

“Couldn’t we just talk uh I don’t know wayyy later into the day?” Loki continued, clearly itching to slam the door in your face.

Maybe you should just wait and think this over, I mean nothing bad could possibly happen in the span of a few hours right? No no, it was seriously now or never before you could attempt to back out again.

 “No Loki this cannot wait!” you said, a little more aggressive than your intended on it. With that you pushed your way into the room, passed Loki and went to sit on his messy bed. You patted the quilt beside you, gesturing for Loki to sit down. He slowly made your way to your side – a little more pleasant now that he’s fully awake and plopped down on the plush bed. He looked at you with his eyebrows raised, waiting for you to begin ‘talking’.

You fidgeted with your fingers for a while, nervous on how to begin this conversation. Finally you put your hands down on your lap and looked at him straight in the eyes. “Loki, I know I’ve been putting is off for a bit, but I think it’s time for you to know how I feel about you,” you began, slowly assessing his face for any reactions.

Loki seemed taken aback, clearly not expecting this to be the topic at hand. “Go on…” he muttered.

“That day you uh well confessed your love for me, do you remember it?” 

“Clear as day (y/n). Frankly I’ve been waiting for an answer with bated breath ever since,” Loki chuckled, looking at his own fidgeting fingers now.

“Well I’m very very sorry to keep you waiting,” you replied, a chuckle coming out of you as well.

A moment of silence passed between the two of you before you hooked your index finger under Loki’s chin and brought his eyes up to meet yours. You licked your lips nervously and said, “I want you to know that your feelings are not unreturned,” 

The raven haired god across from you moved to say something but you stopped him before he could continue. “Wait, before you respond or react, let me just say that I’ve had a pleasurable time with you over the course of these past few months. Pleasure that I didn’t think I would have when I first met you. I’m so sorry that we had to start off on a rough patch, but I am forever grateful that we moved past that and became the friends we are now. I’m not sure what you envision for us in the future when you confessed your feelings for me, but I would just like you to know that I _love_ you and that I care very deeply about you”.  

You waited for what felt like ages for him to respond, twiddling your thumbs together to get your mind off what you had just said to Loki. Instead of saying anything however, Loki simply moved towards you and brushed a few strands of hair away from your face. He moved his hands to cup your cheeks gently and brought them closer to his face. “Thank you for your honesty (y/n),” Loki whispered, his warm breath tickling your skin. You smiled in response, moving your right hand to cover his hand on your cheek.

You relished in the moment and intimacy for a few minutes, fluttering your eyes closed to fully escape into a world where nothing else exists but this moment in time. You felt Loki move forward and connect his lips with yours, starting the kiss off slow and gentle. As he moved to caress your bottom lip with his tongue, you were suddenly hit by the realization that all this is happening. A few months ago you would have never dreamed of being in a romantic relationship with Loki, and now this is all moving quite quickly. Brushing off your fuzzy thoughts for later, you deepened the kiss, moving your body towards Loki so you could sit on his lap. He broke the kiss a few seconds later, to help you both catch your breaths but also to allow you to get on your knees in order to fully position yourself on his lap. You wasted no time in circling your legs around his waist and capturing his lips with yours again, your hands cradling his face securely – not wanting him to leave any time soon.

Loki pulled you down with him on the bed slowly, letting you lie on top of him quite comfortably. You moaned into the kiss and began grinding your waist against his, eliciting a groan from him when he realized what you were doing. “Keep doing that (y/n) don’t stop”, Loki growled, hungrily exploring your mouth with his tongue. His encouragements fueled your confidence, so you moved your hands to either side of his head to prop yourself up a little and began grinding against him with more fervor. He bucked his hips slightly to rub his slowly hardening bulge against you more, but you playfully teased him by moving upwards just a little more every time to deny him the pleasure of grinding harder. You broke the kiss to began kissing down his jaw and neck, putting special attention to licking and sucking on the side of his neck – making sure you fully explored every inch of what makes him squirm. Loki grew impatient with your ministrations and began tugging at your tunic, urging you to take it off. You hadn’t realized that along the way, your tunic dress had ridden up to the point that it was basically pooled around your waist. Giggling softly, you stopped planting kisses along Loki’s neck and straddled him instead so you could pull the dress off over your head. You decided to take off your bra as well – not wanting anything to get in the way of your bodies. Loki growled as he took in your sight, moving his hands languidly over the ridges of your (s/c) skin. He moved his hands to play with your breasts, pinching and rubbing your nipples until they hardened under his touch. You smiled down at him, watching as he played with your breasts contentedly. Your hands slowly moved to grab his, leading them to your nether regions instead. 

Loki smiled excitedly as you stopped straddling him to remove your panties and tossing them haphazardly in a corner of the room. You made a conscious effort to not straddle him again, but instead moving away to a corner of the bed and waited for him to groan in impatience. “Come on darling we don’t have all day you know,” Loki playfully complained. You curled up even further away from him and whispered seductively, “come and get it then”. The god of mischief growled before pouncing on you in an almost feline way and pinning you down on the bed. You were aroused beyond belief by his dominance and instantly felt a wetness pooling from under you. Loki pinned your arms down beside your head and ravished your mouth – not bothering with being gentle and just attacking your mouth with his tongue. You impatiently tugged on his tunic, helping him quickly take it off. As you marveled at his chiseled, pale physique, he quickly tossed aside his pants as well – leaving his erect cock out in the open for you to crave. You unconsciously licked your lips, watching his throbbing member drip a few droplets of glistening precum.

“I want you in my mouth,” you whispered breathlessly, reaching up with your now-freed hands to touch Loki’s thick member.

Loki slapped your hand away quickly, leaning down so that his face was mere inches from yours. “Ah ah – what’s the magic word darling?” he huskily whispered, the low growling his voice has become turning you on even more.

“Please,” you desperately whisper, trying to free your hands which were now once again trapped under his.

“Please what my dear,” Loki pushed, a mischievous glint in his green eyes.

 “Please Loki, I need you,” you fought on, hardly surviving the wait any longer.

“Ah I don’t think you want it enough,” Loki replied, clearly struggling to keep up this act instead of simply relieving his pent up sexual need in your mouth. 

You thrashed under his grip wildly, muttering, “please” over and over again – animalistic lust evident in your (e/c) eyes, as Loki wouldn’t relent one bit. So desperate and convinced that you would never have sex at this rate, you finally whispered, “please, my king”. 

Loki raised his eyebrows at that, clearly not expecting you to ever say such a thing. He slowly relinquished his hold on you and with that he climbed off of you and laid back so that you may have full access to his painfully hard cock. You panted with need as you quickly positioned yourself comfortably in front of his sprawled legs. Taking his hard cock in your hands, you began stroking him, flicking your thumbs once in a while over his head – cleaning the precum off his slit and clearly torturing him with your pace.

“My dear if this was the pace you were going after when you begged for my cock, then I would have never relented so soon,” Loki huffed, obviously frustrated with your actions.

You frowned at him and began pumping his cock more quickly, watching his face contort in pleasure with beads of sweat trailing down his temples. “You said you wanted me in your mouth (y/n)” Loki growled, reaching up to grab a fistful of your hair. You yelped as he roughly pushed your head down so that your mouth wrapped around the head of his cock. He groaned pleasurably at that and continued pushing you downwards until mouth was to the hilt. You began bobbing your head up and down quickly, understanding now that Loki is not a patient man at all. Your hands reached to Loki’s balls and massaged them as your tongue slid up and down the god’s length. The sound of Loki’s pleasured moans and breathless pants of your name pushed you on, ignoring the cramp building in your jaw. Spit and precum dribbled out of your mouth messily and tears were beginning to form in your eyes. Thankfully, Loki suddenly pulled you off his cock and maneuvered himself so he could slam you down on the soft bed.

A startled breath left your mouth, and before you could fully collect your thoughts and recover from the blowjob, Loki roughly spread your legs open and positioned himself at your entrance. He aligned his throbbing cock at your entrance – obviously dying to spill his seed soon. You panted and waited for him to push into you, but he didn’t. “You’re not wet enough for me my dear,” Loki whispered, unhappy as he looked at your cunt, which you had thought was dripping wet.

“What?” you panted, too tired and lusty to say anything else. Loki shook his head, “nevermind”, he muttered, suddenly rubbing your clit hard with his index and middle fingers. You moaned at his actions, pushing yourself towards him more. He let go of his throbbing cock and held your hips down moving his fingers at his own pace. Loki alternated between rubbing, circling and flicking your sensitive and engorged clit – making the bed under you absolutely soaked. “Finger me,” you moaned, wanting to feel something inside you.

“No need,” Loki muttered, his eyes dark and consumed with longing. He pulled his fingers away from your clit and without warning, thrust his cock deep inside you. You shouted his name and instinctively grabbed his hair, wrapping your legs around his hips to get him further inside your cunt.

“Oh oh god Loki, yes yes!” you exclaimed, urging him to keep pounding you harder. There was no need for further encouragement actually, because the longer he fucked you, the wilder his thrusting became. You could feel his impressive length filling you every time he pounded your wet cunt. Every time he would pull out it tortured you a little. The fullness you felt at this very moment as he was fucking you was a feeling you never wanted to let go of. It didn’t take long before his muscles tensed and his face was one of pure pleasure and agony. With a gasp, he thrust into you one last time before spilling his hot seed inside you. You moaned, feeling him fill your cunt entirely, wanting this sensation to last forever. Loki didn’t take long to recover from his orgasm and pulled out from you quickly. As you began to move from your position, Loki held you down and whispered, “My dear we’re not done yet. You haven’t climaxed”.

You were surprised at how considerate he was, and stayed happily in your position as he once again began playing with your clit. It didn’t take long for you to finally feel that pleasurable intensity in your lower abdomen and shout as you came on his fingers. Loki kept rubbing you hard as you came down from your high, spreading your juices on his palm.

He brought his fingers up to his mouth and sucked on each one languidly, licking his entire palm when he was down. “Incredible,” he whispered, his expression one of pure joy. You sighed, lazily rubbing circles on Loki’s arms and hands with your thumbs. After you had recovered from the afterglow, you moved out from under Loki and laying down your head on the thick pillows. Loki crawled to lie beside you and stroked your hair gently until you fell into a deep slumber.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i shall update tomorrow!!


	8. The Resurgence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry i didn't update yesterday! This is more smut <3

You slowly blinked your eyes open the next morning, the cold Jotunnheim morning light rousing you and your lover awake. Loki’s fingers were playing with strands of your hair and you simply watched him do this, feeling absolutely at peace in this moment. You slowly turned your head towards him and raised your fingers to stroke his pale, chiseled jaw. Oh how beautiful he looked in this intimate moment shared with only the two of you. 

“Loki,” you murmured softly. 

“Yes my love?” Loki replied, intertwining his fingers with yours.  

“Are you nervous about being king?” you asked slowly, knowing that he probably wasn’t because this is his life long dream. 

Loki looked at the ceiling contemplatively for a few minutes, pondering what he should say in response to that. “Not if you’re there with me,” he whispered gently, rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb. 

His statement quipped your attention because he had said this previously as well. You propped yourself on your elbow and looked at him more intensely. “You keep saying that, but what do you mean?” 

Loki chuckled at your puzzled expression and propped himself up on his elbow as well, facing you. “It means, my dear, that I want you to rule beside me”. You processed what he just said for a few moments before asking, “Like as your advisor? Because Hagen and Leiknir are definitely more competent and-” Loki suddenly cut you off short by capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. “No my dear, like as my queen,” the raven hair god muttered in a matter-of-fact way, his lips immediately resuming the kiss. Your head was swimming with happiness, excited that you had a second chance at the throne. 

You finally broke apart the kiss, resting your forehead on his, the both of you smiling contentedly at each other. After a few more minutes of lazing around in bed, you decided to get up and find something to cover yourself up with. You padded over to Loki’s oak dresser and rummaged around for one of his soft robes that you like so much. Suddenly your fingers graze over something cool and soft. You decided to ignore it at first, but curiosity got the best of you and you trailed your fingers back to the spot and picked up the foreign object. Much to your surprise, it was a silk nightgown in a light peach shade. You carefully observed it, dangling the light garment in your fingers, holding it out in front of your face to observe. 

“Loki whose is this?” you asked cautiously, raising one of your brows. 

“Hmm?” Loki turned to face your direction, quickly observing the garment before his expression became one of confusion. “I have no idea (y/n), perhaps the chambermaids mixed up the laundry basket and brought your undergarments here instead”, Loki quickly uttered, using a little too many hand gestures than necessary. You fixed your eyes on the night gown again, your eyebrows scrunching together wondering if it was indeed one of yours. “Hmm perhaps it could be that,” you murmured, more to yourself than to Loki. He quickly scrambled out of bed, exclaimin,  “yes yes! Of course my dear!” 

The raven haired god came behind you and wrapped his pale arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulders. He kissed your neck lovingly, rubbing your stomach in a comforting way as he did so. “Let’s not worry on such trivial things darling. It’s one of our rare mornings off, might as well enjoy it, yes?” Loki whispered into your ear lowly, his long fingers trailing down to your lower abdomen sneakily. You felt your heartbeat flutter in your chest – he always seemed to be able to have that effect on you. Slowly you turned to face him, resting both your hands on his cheeks. You moved forward to kiss him, feeling his soft lips grazing yours sensually, beckoning you to leave all your worries behind.

Loki led the both of you towards the bed, pushing you down gently on it once you felt the back of your leg hit the edge. He crawled over your body slowly, but not at an agonizing or teasing pace, Loki was simply taking his time to enjoy you, dragging out the lovemaking. You grew impatient and pulled him on top of you by arms. Once his bare torso was atop yours, he began moving his finger tips ever so gently over the ridges and curves of your body, stopping at your breasts to massage them lovingly, rubbing your hardening nipples until a soft moan escaped your lips. You felt his hardening member against your abdomen, so you moved your right hand down his smooth chest to palm his erection through his thin sleeping pants. Loki groaned, not expecting you to do that and bucked his hips in your palm. You giggled at the action, rubbing more earnestly as he became more heated. The god of mischief began kissing and sucking on your neck hungrily, leaving small bruises in his path. You were hoping they wouldn’t be too visible, seeing as coronation day is but a week away and you didn’t want anyone getting ideas. A warmth began pooling in your nether regions, so you struggled to push to Loki off a little so that you could remove your panties and kick them aside. Loki growled when he saw how wet you were, so he took no time to remove his own pants and undergarments before aligning himself at your needy entrance.

“Fuck me hard Loki,” you gasped, holding onto his shoulders, bracing yourself for the ministrations ahead. The raven haired god above you didn’t say anything in return, but instead he pushed his thick and leaking erection into your wet cunt. You moaned his name, begging him to start moving fast and hard inside you. He did exactly just that, sparing no mercy to your stretched hole, wanting to feel your tightness around his cock over and over again. Loki expertly angled his body over yours so that his cock could hit that special spot inside you every time he pounded into you. Moans and curses flew from your mouth as you felt an intensity within you that you had not felt for a long time. With a final groan and praises for the god above you, you came, clenching yourself around Loki’s cock. The god of mischief was barely coherent anymore, whispering, “Yes, yes darling oh god you feel amazing” when he was about to unravel himself in you. With a final thrust inside you and a shout of your name, Loki finally came, his white seed filling you with some spilling out as he pulled away.

As you laid there with him in the morning light, you felt all your worries wash away from your exhausted figure, and you certainly couldn’t remember what you were so preoccupied with just half an hour ago. Loki’s fingers made their way lower down your abdomen as you were lost in your haze, and you could feel his digits languidly teasing your clit, causing your wetness to return yet again. You chuckled at his actions, surprised that he wasn’t completely tired for the time being. You weren’t about to stop him however, for you certainly weren’t about to deny another orgasm. Loki kissed your lips sweetly, his tongue running over your bottom lip and sucking on them passionately. In between your kisses, you whispered, “I love you” over and over again to the god who had made you feel so heavenly and content in the past few months. Loki looked at you lovingly, his green eyes soft and caring as he studied your blissful face. “I love you so much (y/n) more than you could ever know. And you are mine,” Loki whispered, bringing your hands to his lips and kissing them, letting his lips linger there for a few moments as if to really seal his confession. All that mattered in that moment was that everything was finally going as planned, and that you were utterly and completely happy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters to come today, to make up for me not updating yesterday and tomorrow. Conflict coming up right ahead folks!


	9. The Relishing

The next week you didn’t really see Loki much, seeing as you had a coronation day to prepare. Invitations had been sent out a few weeks ago, mainly at the feast however. You had ordered everyone to make the proper preparations and ordered Loki’s coronation outfit and yours. Everything was going as planned, which made you worry a little.

Coronation morning. You thought you were about to either burst into tears or laughter. You simply couldn’t decide what to make of your future. Even though Loki had promised you would rule by his side and you had deemed him a competent leader, you were suddenly having second thoughts. “Where did all these doubts come from?” you thought to yourself, pacing around your large bedchamber. Never mind, you simply couldn’t waste your time or energy on silly thoughts – you had to get up and get ready right now. You let your worries fall away from your thoughts as you soaked in the warm bath, wishing it were Loki’s arms that enveloped you in warmth instead of the bubble water. Several chambermaids were waiting for you in your dressing room when you were done, all of them holding out a piece of your attire for today. Once you were dressed up in the finest Jotun robes and decked with jewels from all the nine realms, you were ready to collect Loki and make your way to the throne room. 

Loki’s door was slightly ajar when you got to his quarters, probably because of the sheer amount of servants walking in and out to help him get ready. You spotted him in the corner, watching himself in the mirror while nibbling on an apple. Sighing happily you quickly made your way towards him, telling him how proud you were of him in this moment. You fixed his robe and fur mantle to distract your shaking fingers. He noticed how pale you had become as your eyes were trying not to look anywhere but on the ornate silver patterns on the robe.

Loki held your fingers in his hands, beckoning you to look up at his beautiful green orbs. “Hey (y/n), it’s useless to fret, nothing will go wrong my love,” the god whispered softly, raising your hands to his lips to kiss them, his eyes fluttering to a close in bliss. You shook your head, trying to snap yourself out of your ruminations and quickly muttered, “It’s uh yeah you’re right it’s silly to worry. Nothing will go wrong, I had everything planned out perfectly. This um this will be perfect”. You quickly went through the plans of the day again in your head, making sure there were no rooms for errors. Never mind the day actually, you quickly went over your future – making sure all the carefully laid out plans you had made since you were a young girl would unfold properly.

A knocking on the heavy doors startled the both of you. “Your highnesses, it’s time,” Leiknir said with full composure. You followed him and Hagen out of the chamber corridor and into the main halls of the palace. They were decked out in full armor, making them look even more fierce and deadly than usual. “Calm, calm, calm,” you kept repeating to yourself in your head, holding Loki’s hands in yours tightly. You were so busy trying to calm yourself down that you hadn’t even noticed the gigantic throne room doors in front of you. If it wasn’t for Loki you would have surely walked straight into Leiknir’s unmoving self.

A few seconds passed without noise. You let out a deep breath, then another and another, before suddenly fanfare played from within the throne room and the large doors opened. Hagen and Leiknir were quickly joined by a few dozen warriors, leading the both of you to the throne. You stopped halfway down and let Loki go on in front of you – after all, he was going to be the king.

Once Loki reached the stairs of the throne, the fanfare and marching noises stopped and all was eerily quiet. He knelt on the carpeted floor, raising his head to look at the oldest and wisest of all the Jotun elders, Aerinmund standing before him. Aerinmund cleared his throat once before beginning to speak, “People of Jotunnheim, as you know, our beloved, fearsome and mighty king Laufey has passed on to the realm of the afterlife just a few months ago. We grieved, we moaned in anguish and we thirsted for a new ruler. The wise king Laufey of course had prepared an heir to the throne, his firstborn son, Loki Laufeyson. Today he is here before Jotunnheim, before its people to accept his birthright to be king. As the oldest member of the great tribes of Jotun, I have been blessed with the power to bestow upon you, Loki son of Laufey, the power to rule justly, lovingly and fiercely. May there never come a day in your rule that we should ever regret this day. Please rise son of Laufey”.

Loki slowly got up from his kneeling position and bowed his head slightly so that the intricately designed crown of emeralds and diamonds could be placed atop his raven head. Aerinmund then placed a matching scepter in his right hand and stepped down from the throne steps. You waited, with bated breath for the applause, the cheers and the wild screaming. You thought it would never come, but then suddenly the hall was filled with gleeful celebrations, and surely the same was happening all through Jotunheim. This is it. He was safe for good. Odin would never dare attack or arrest him now that he’s king of an entire realm. You were so happy seeing him walk towards the throne and lowering himself on it regally that you almost didn’t notice yourself being beckoned towards the throne steps by Aerinmund.

Quickly you regained your composure and knelt down before him as Loki did just now. Once again, the elder began his speech, about you this time. “Our new and beloved king has chosen a companion for himself. One that would rule the realm of Jotunnheim with tenacity and great wisdom. She is our princess, a familiar figure to us all and the Vanir daughter of Laufey. I am absolutely certain that there is no doubt in any of our minds that she is the only one suited for this role. Please rise, (y/n) daughter of Laufey”. You rose and accepted the smaller crown on your head, it was heavy but not unpleasant – and you made sure it stayed there using your magic. You had cringed a little knowing that you were both referred to as children of Laufey, but never mind that for now.

You gracefully ascended the throne stairs and sat on the smaller throne to the left of Loki, his free hand immediately reaching out for yours. His hands were freezing since he was in his frost giant form, but you gave him a reassuring squeeze and smiled at him quickly. Aerinmund commanded the subjects, no, your subjects to rise and kneel to their new rulers. You watched Loki from the corner of your vision and saw that he was absolutely having the time of his life. He looked the most at peace since you had met. You even thought he looked happier than after the two of you made love. Oh of course he did, this was his dream come true – the life he’s always wanted, he was finally king.

With a raise of his hand, Loki commanded his subjects to rise and they immediately began cheering and chanting his and your name over and over again. Once you were sure no one was scrutinizing you, you turned your head to simply watch your lover enjoying his big day. His expression remained unchanged for a while, just looking blissful and content.

As you were about to turn away and look at your subjects however, you noticed the smallest change in his eyes. You weren’t even sure if it was real, since it was so fleeting. Loki was scanning the room, observing his loyal subjects when suddenly he saw something that made his heart skip a beat. Just as quickly as he was startled, he returned to looking unfazed and happy. He turned his head toward you and smiled genuinely, his thumb tracing circles on your hand. You smiled right back at him and casually observed the room once he wasn’t staring anymore. What was it that had captured Loki’s attention so suddenly, and why did he look so nervous, almost scared even. There shouldn’t be anything in the world he has to fear anymore, he had armies, mercenaries, and powerful figures on his side.

He knew here was however, one thing he couldn’t fix with great power – you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoho next chapter is probably the one i'm most dying to write out of all of them.


	10. The Rebuke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loki being extra emotional in this chapter - brace yourselves.

The feast following the coronation had been divine. You made sure it was one that no one would forget anytime soon by bringing in exotic meat dishes and wine from the other realms. The guests were particularly impressed by chicken – most of them had never tasted it in their hundreds of years living. It didn’t take you long to feel lightheaded from all the fine wines, having to eventually restrain yourself from having another sip. Loki was certainly enjoying himself as well, but you noticed he restrained his drinking from the moment the feast began. You brushed it off as a way to remain composed as the new king.

The two of you made your way to Loki’s chambers soon after the feast ended and the guests were taken home. You were quite drunk and had to support yourself against Loki as you were too dizzy to walk and laughing way too much. As soon as you made it in his chambers, the both of you took off the heavy garments on your shoulders and you plopped down on one of the large plush chairs. You beckoned the raven-haired god to join you, your half lidded eyes watching him sensually. “Come on my king, tonight we must celebrate, and I certainly know more than a few ways to please you,” you purred, Loki smiling at you appreciatively. You had expected him to ravish you as he sat down, but instead he looked down at his intertwined hands and said nothing.

Something was definitely wrong. You scooted closer and rubbed his back supportively, resting your head on his shoulder. “What’s wrong sweetheart,” you whispered into his ear, one of your hands moving up to stroke his hair instead. Loki remained silent for a while longer before suddenly turning towards you and stared. He swallowed a few times before clearing his throat.  “(y/n) there’s something important I have to tell you, something I’ve been meaning to tell you this past week”.

You eyebrows knitted in confusion, “What is it my dear?” you asked, not realizing he had kept anything from you. Loki’s breathing suddenly quickened just a little. He took your hands in his and squeezed them a little too tightly than usual. His eyes looked to almost be pleading with you, his lips only a thin line at this point. 

“I don’t know where to begin,” Loki whispered, strands of his hair falling onto his face as he looked down once more. You moved your fingers to tuck the hair behind his ear, waiting for him to continue talking. Loki suddenly shook his head and huffed out a cynical sounding laugh. Your confusion grew even more, a nervous chuckle escaping your lips as you grew more and more nervous. The god before you abruptly stood up and started pacing the room. His eyes turned towards a large vase of freshly cut flowers in the center of the room. Loki walked quickly towards it and without a warning flung it against the wall. Your eyes were as wide as saucers, watching the porcelain vase shatter into a million pieces. You didn’t dare move, not knowing what he was going to do next. Loki scanned the room in a panicky way, and you were sure he was looking for something else to destroy. You closed your eyes and tried to regulate your breathing, waiting for him to calm down.

You waited a few seconds for the crash, the bang, the chaos to ensue, but nothing came except quiet sobs from Loki. You slowly opened your eyes and saw him on the floor, kneeling and hunched over with his head in his hands. Quickly you moved out of your seat to kneel beside him, rubbing your hands over his back comfortingly. You cooed and shh-ed him to ease his sobs, but he only grew more anxious by the second.

“Loki, please please tell me what is wrong! I cannot help you if I don’t know what’s happening,” you said, an urgency to your tone. You were seriously getting nervous for him and you felt absolutely helpless amidst it all.

You watched the god of mischief cry beside you, his breathing ragged and uneven. Finally he slowly turned his head towards you, his eyes swollen and red, tears streaming down his pale cheeks. “I’m- I’ve- Don’t you understand? I’ve destroyed everything,” Loki whispered through gritted teeth. You raised your eyebrows, not expecting that from him but you simply waited for him to continue. He raised his wet hands to look at them, suddenly slamming them down on the hard ground. “I’VE DESTROYED EVERYTHING!” Loki shouted into the air, causing you to pull away from him. He quickly turned his head to where your hands had been and looked at you desperately. “See, you’re disgusted already,” he whispered, his voice slowly growing quieter and filled with bitterness.

Realizing you had hurt him; you returned your arms to wrap around his shoulder. “My darling, I’m not disgusted of you, I love you,” you cooed, placing a kiss on his temple.

“No (y/n), you don’t understand, I’ve betrayed your precious trust. I don’t deserve your love anymore,” Loki half shouted, flailing his arms madly in front of him. You thought he was going to continue being evasive about the problem, but he suddenly took your hands and looked at you seriously. The sound of his pants filled the room before he began speaking. “Do you remember the feast from a few weeks ago?” Loki began, searching your face for a reaction.

“Yes, yes of course Loki,” you quickly responded, not wanting him to become vague again.

“And- and do you- do you remember that woman, the daughter of the chief?” Loki said, his words tumbling out nervously and too quickly.

“Oh yes I do, her name was Angrboda if I’m not mistaken,” you replied, smiling at him encouragingly.

“Yes yes, Angrboda,” he whispered to himself, repeating the name over and over again, getting lost in his train of thoughts.

“Loki what about Angrboda?” you urged, snapping him out of his reverie. You looked at the raven-haired god, whose breathing had quickened significantly and tears were streaming down his face once more.

“Angrboda, she uh she- she- came to me a few days ago, I’m not sure how many days it has been but she- she- told me she was- she was- she- is pregnant,” Loki quickly uttered, panic evident in his tone, almost whispering the last few words.

“She’s what? Why would she- Oh,” what hadn’t made sense to you the moment you heard Loki’s explanation now seems clear as day. “Are you sure? What if she had been lying to you?” you attempted to keep a calm composure, just keeping the facts straight. 

“No, no, I tested it myself, it’s a boy,” Loki whispered, looking up at you with bloodshot, pleading eyes. “I am such a fool, a stupid stupid fool, how could I do this to you? Why do I always hurt the ones I love?” Loki was muttered, slapping his face repeatedly as he tormented himself.

“When did this- the two of you happen?” you asked, your voice quiet but firm.

“It was the night of the feast, I left the dining hall early but you probably didn’t notice, you were with the other guests. It didn't mean anything I swear, I was drunk and full of lust and I wasn't thinking,” Loki explained nervously. 

Oh. So that was where he went. You had noticed alright but you being the unassuming and caring person you are didn’t dare let your mind wander that direction.

The world seemed like it was floating for a moment. You didn’t know what to do. You’re not particularly angered or appalled or raging, it just seemed very surreal. This wasn’t something you would have expected to hear, ever. Finally you started to move on what felt like autopilot. You got up from the floor and walked slowly to the door. You didn’t really notice Loki crawling quickly towards you, his pleas gradually growing louder and louder, the sound of your name being called lost to you.

“PLEASE (y/n) CURSE ME, MAKE ME BLEED, I DESERVE ONLY SUCH. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO GIVE ME AN HEIR, ONLY YOU DESERVE THAT ROLE IN MY LIFE,” Loki screamed from behind you, his hands finally grabbing your ankle to hold you back.

“Loki please let go of me,” you calmly said, shaking your foot to remove his grip. He did so almost immediately, alternating to slapping his face, banging his fist on the ground and yelling your name. “(y/n) I DESERVE ALL YOUR HATE AND MORE, I HAVE BETRAYED YOUR TRUST,” Loki pleaded, his voice hoarse from all the shouting. 

As you reached the door, you carefully held the handle in your hands, feeling the cold metal on your warm skin. You sighed deeply, before turning to Loki and watched him on the ground, pitiful and helpless – nothing a king should ever be.

“I don’t hate you Loki,” you whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, before opening the door and exiting the room. The sound of Loki’s pleas and cries slowly became nothing but silence as you walked away from the chambers, from Loki, perhaps for the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In norse mythology Angrboda is actually the mother of Loki's two children and her name means "the one who brings grief"


	11. The Rancor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry sorry this took three days!

What were you to do in all of this? You were pacing around your room for what felt like hours. When the cold sun finally came up, you plopped down on your bed, finally letting your tears run freely down your cold cheeks. A million things were running through your mind at this point. Should you really leave Loki over this? Of course you should, this just further proved the point that he doesn’t care about anything. But then again that was before you had confessed your feelings for him… he was probably lonely and he didn’t know if you were ever coming around. But then again if he really did care about you, he would have waited for your response or at least an appropriate amount of time before impregnating another woman. And another thing – if you were to be crowned queen, you simply couldn’t have another woman having his children. Above all else you prioritized Jotunheim. You always have and always will. If you were to leave Loki, who would be a suitable replacement for you? Chaos would ensue for sure; the people would be so confused, devastated and possibly angry at Loki. You simply couldn’t risk all this happening, especially in a fragile time like this.

Perhaps… perhaps this one time you should prioritize yourself. Just for once you should care about your heart and wellbeing more than that of others. You couldn’t shake the pain you felt inside you every time you thought of Loki and what might come of his future with Angrboda. You didn’t even feel contempt or hatred for her – it wasn’t ever her fault, she didn’t know. This was all Loki’s fault. Gods, it was so wrong to trust him in the first place. Odin was right, he is an irresponsible boy who wants nothing but power, ignoring any consequences along the way. Yes, yes, you simply couldn’t keep going like this – you had to clear your mind, have some time to your own.

You couldn’t stay in Jotunheim, everything here reminded you of Loki, so you decided to go to the one place you knew you’d always be welcomed to – Vaneheim.

No one knew of your plans, except Hagen and Leiknir. You couldn’t be completely irresponsible, being queen and all. All you told them was that you’re going on a sudden diplomatic trip to Vaneheim and no one was allowed to accompany you. It took some time to convince the two frost giants that you won’t be needing warriors to protect you, but eventually your tenacity and resolute won.

Packing was easy enough, since Vaneheim had a more forgiving temperature than Jotunheim. You didn’t know how long you’ll be staying there, but it was safer to lean on the longer side. With enough magic and rest you were able to teleport there, and being that you hadn’t needed to use your powers in a while, tomorrow you were finally ready to set off.

* * *

The next morning you woke up anxious. You hadn’t been outside of Jotunheim in a decade at least, well not including that time you busted Loki out of prison in Asgard. What if no one remembered you in Vaneheim? No, that’s not possible, the news of the coronation must have spread quickly across the nine realms. Who would you contact there? There was always your biological father, but he could be dead by now. It doesn’t matter – you always find a way.

You wanted to walk around the palace for a while before you left, mostly to clear your mind for the journey. You didn’t really remember what Vaneheim looked like, but you had a pretty good idea of how the palace entrance was. As you were strolling absentmindedly, you realized you had walked to Loki’s chambers. You considered saying something to him, perhaps you could say goodbye? No, no, he’ll go after you, not that he won’t find out soon enough from Hagen and Leiknir anyway.

Before you could change your mind and do something stupid like talk to him, you walked back quickly to your room and locked the door behind you. This is it, goodbye Jotunheim – for a while at least.

You gathered your large bags and concentrated your magic on enveloping your whole self. A bright light suddenly emerged from within you, cocooning your body. You closed your eyes tightly to block the light out, and in an instant, you were gone. Blinking slowly, you tried to adjust your eyes to your new surroundings, praying it was actually Vaneheim and not Nilfheim or something like that.

Children were running and playing cheerfully in front of you, one of them nearly knocking you out in your daze. You observed your surroundings – it was a town market that you had landed in. After observing the people around you, you concluded that yes, this was indeed Vaneheim. Before you had left, you tasked Hagen and Leiknir with finding your father’s mercenary group, if even they still existed. You took out a small crinkled piece of parchment from your pocket and looked at the instructions. It said you were supposed to wait in the entrance of the Northern forest and await further instructions. Well that was vague. You tucked the small piece of paper safely back in your pocket and pulled up the hood of your tunic. The last thing you wanted was attention for being a queen in the middle of the market. 

Two hours of painful walking later, you had arrived at the location. You peered into the thick trees and greenery, wondering who would come to pick you up here. Finally you sat on a large stone near the path into the woods and waited. Half an hour later, and still no one came for you. You decided to yell into the woods, calling someone, anyone to come get you. Your shouts were only returned with the silence and sounds of various animals from inside. You were seriously running out of patience, silently cursing Hagen and Leiknir for their vague instructions. Finally you decided to try announcing your presence as queen of Jotunheim, and that you were the daughter of Dellingr. Nothing. You huffed and sat back down on the stone, eventually deciding to walk back down into town.

Suddenly you heard a loud rustling from the trees behind you. As you turned around to see who had come, three large men came bounding out of the woods and swept you off your feet. The largest one carried you bridal style into the woods, not caring for introductions or explanations.

“What in the name of the gods are you doing! Put me down this instant!” you yelled, smacking the man’s chest uselessly. None of the men replied you, only continuing their journey deeper and deeper into the forest. You mentally thanked Hagen and Leiknir for not drawing you a map through the forest, because you would have certainly gotten lost and died if you tried walking in here alone. Ten minutes later the three men finally stopped in front of a large moss-covered cave and set you down. 

“Your highness, we are here,” one of the smaller men said, his voice gruff and deep. They beckoned for you to follow them inside the dark cave, only lit periodically with torches.

You walked cautiously into the silent cave, drips of water echoing off the walls. After a few turns and corridors, you arrived in front of a large wooden table, a high backed chair facing opposite you. Two guards with armor were standing guard next to the table. You breathed in and out, this was it. You were about to meet your biological father for the first time since you were a baby. A few moment passed before the man in the high backed chair stepped out of his seat and walked towards you. He had battle scars running down his face, most noticeably one that cut through his right eye.

“Your highness, welcome to my humble abode,” the man bowed low in front of you, taking your hand in his afterwards and placed a kiss on it. You curtsied in return, and remarked, “Father”. To your surprise, the man chuckled, shaking his head quite vigorously. You didn’t understand what was so funny about your statement. 

“My dear, your father died two decades ago. My name is Álfr, I was his most trusted companion and apprentice. I run this cult now. Rest assured, I am aware of who you are and I shan’t forget the special place you always have in our little group,” the man explained, his eyes twinkling kindly.

You nodded in understanding, looking around the place and shuffling your feet. You didn’t really know what to say. Why have you come here in the first place? Perhaps only to seek shelter… you couldn’t have stayed at the Vanir palace, it would be too ostentatious, plus they hadn’t expected your arrival, so it would be inconsiderate. The sound of Álfr clearing his throat finally snapped you back into reality. You quickly apologized for dazing off and smiled at him.

“Your highness, to what do we owe the pleasure of your visitation? To my knowledge you have never been here in person,” 

“I uh… I… I must collect my thoughts before I could explain Álfr, and please, call me (y/n), we’re all friends here right?” you quickly replied, suddenly panicking on how to explain your circumstances.

“(y/n) if I may, you certainly have come to us for a very special reason, perhaps one that requires the utmost confidentiality, or else you would have gone to the palace for your visit instead. Please let me remind you that part of our work is to keep things that are secret, a secret. We will not compromise you nor use anything you tell us against your wellbeing,” Álfr explained, his hands covering yours reassuringly. “May I interest you in tea? You must be tired after the journey,” he offered.

“Yes, yes, I could explain over some tea, thank you Álfr,” you replied, nodding your head happily.

Álfr summoned for his servant to bring the both of you some tea in the dining room. He guided you out of his working area and into a slightly smaller room in the West wing of the cave. When you were both settled and the tea was poured, you were finally ready to explain your circumstances.

“Álfr, you are aware of why I was adopted by Laufey right?” you began, looking at him expectantly.

“Yes, yes, (y/n) your existence is common knowledge to everyone who was a follower of your father. It was very hard for him to part with you, you know. However, after your mother’s passing, he thought it would be wiser to send you to someone who would have more experience and time for you,”

“Then you must know that the throne of Jotunheim was my birthright?” 

“Of course your highness, that is why we were all quite surprised by the news that Loki was crowned king,”

“So was I at first, Álfr, but he has proven himself to be quite a wise king…” you trailed off distractedly, sipping at the hot tea slowly. Álfr waited patiently for you to continue, finishing his small cup of tea quite quickly. You decided it was pointless to skirt around the issue, Álfr knew the back story already anyway.

“Alright so here is my predicament. You see, Loki and I have become… romantically involved you could say over the past month. That is perhaps the reason why I am ‘your highness’ now instead of just princess (y/n). A couple of days ago, on the night of the coronation, Loki he uh… he told me that he… he… had impregnated a young maiden. She is the daughter of our army’s chief. Naturally you would understand how this was incredibly irresponsible and diplomatically unwise, seeing as I am now his queen. Only I should bear his heir,” you finished explaining and felt you were gradually breathing more quickly in frustration. Inwardly you were cursing Loki and his childish behavior. If only he had had more self control that night, you wouldn’t have to be here. You would have been in bed with him.

Álfr nodded to himself, trying to process everything you had just said. “That was terribly unwise for the young king to do,” he mused, perhaps more to himself than you.

“Yes, yes my thoughts exactly. I couldn’t bear being in Jotunheim any longer, so I have come to Vaneheim to clear my thoughts,” you explained, happy that Álfr shares your annoyance.

 “You have come for revenge, yes?” Álfr suddenly said, staring seriously into your eyes. You almost dropped your cup of tea in shock. Revenge? You hadn’t even thought of that. This was supposed to be a meditation retreat. “Uh… I haven’t considered that option Álfr,” you honestly explained.

Álfr chuckled gruffly. “Forgive me (y/n), it’s just that when people come to us in need of something, it’s usually revenge oriented. We take people out, we usurp crowns, destroy people’s reputations, you name it,” the man before you explained, perhaps a little too casually for the topic.

“Uh… I think it would be a bit dangerous for me to exact my revenge on him right now would it not? He was just crowned king, and the people of Jotunheim would be restless and afraid… besides, I do really care for him and I don’t want to see him getting hurt. Honestly Álfr I don’t think revenge is the way to go,”

Álfr looked more amused by the second, shaking his head as he huffed out his laughter. “My queen, it would be less risky than you think it is. Things like this happen everyday in the nine realms; it’s no big deal. Besides, you have always wanted the crown right? This would just be killing two birds with one stone. Or rather, just one king,” Álfr laughed at his own joke, beckoning his servant to bring more tea.

You decided to think about it over the next few days. This wasn’t a small decision and you knew it.

* * *

 

Back in Jotunheim, Loki woke up several hours later than he was used to. He had expected you to be there on the bed with him, but upon realizing that no one was there but himself, the memories of what happened last night came back to him. Loki sat up with a jolt, fearing how you would react to him this morning.

Without properly dressing himself, the Jotun king rushed out of bed in search of you, looking in your empty chambers first, then the kitchen, then the dining hall, then the throne room, but still you weren’t anywhere in sight. Exhausted and afraid, he finally found Hagen strolling in the courtyard.

“HAGEN WHERE IS MY QUEEN,” Loki shouted in panic.

Hagen looked taken aback, but he managed to compose himself again. “I am not in a position to inform you, your majesty,” Hagen politely answered. Loki was positively seething at this point, trying his best not to strangle the information out of Hagen. Eventually Loki decided that that was the only way to go, so without warning he hoisted Hagen into the air by his throat, threatening to kill him if he didn’t spill where you were.

Hagen was clawing uselessly at Loki’s fingers, afraid of his demise but also afraid of your wrath. Eventually the need for air took over and he relented. “Va-Vaneheim your majesty,” Hagen croaked, Loki dropping him unceremoniously to the ground. “Thank you for your services Hagen,” Loki coldly replied, striding back to the palace, hoping that you hadn’t done anything rash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be more smut in this story rest assured!


	12. The Rapport

Loki was frantically pacing after his arrival to Vaneheim. He had chosen to land in a discreet clearing away from the main village. There was only one place you could be, especially if you wanted to keep your location away from prying ears. The god of mischief didn’t know where to find the mysterious cult that was one your family, so he decided to ask a village elder. He disguised himself as a young woman so as to not seem suspicious. The tactic worked and soon enough he was on his way to the forest.

Meanwhile in the cave, you had just finished supper with Álfr and was quite ready to call it a night. You thankfully reached your room soon enough and plopped down on the bed immediately. As you quickly reached the land of slumber, Loki was contemplating about what to do in front of the forest. The elder had said someone would pick him up, but that someone hasn’t come for him yet. “Perhaps they’re just taking their time getting here,” Loki mused. Apparently his theory proved to be right, for not long after that, a lone man come into the clearing and picked Loki up as he did with you just this morning.

Loki was still disguised as a young woman when he was dropped off in front of the cave. Instead of following the man inside however, the god decided to knock out his escort quickly and dragged him aside into a thick cluster of trees. Loki returned to his usual form and whispered a spell to rouse the man from his unconsciousness.

“Wh-what…” the man mumbled, his head still throbbing from the attack. 

“Listen here, I am Loki of Jotunheim and I am here to collect my queen. Tell me where she is and I assure you no further damage will be done upon you or your cult,” Loki threatened, his fingers securely wrapped around the man’s throat.

At first the man tried to struggle and break free, perhaps misjudging Loki’s strength by his lithe physique. Frustrated by the struggling, Loki added clones of himself to the mix, helping him retrain the man as he continued the threats.

“I have little time, even less patience to deal with your pathetic resistance. TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!” Loki yelled, his eyes damn near popping out of its sockets. The burly man under him writhed and whimpered, clearly about to break and tell him where you were. “Do not think, fool, that your little cult is safe here,” Loki spat each word, adding terror to the man’s eyes. “Do you think the royal Vanir family are not aware of your presence? That they do not seek to drain the blood out of your pitiful bodies? Oh just wait until I tell them where you are. No one, not a single one of you, or your wives or your children will be safe then, oh no,” Loki began chuckling in mirth, clearly wanting to prolong the pain.

As if it wasn’t clear enough to the man what threats Loki had just spat out, he decided to show the man in his own mind what it would look like. The chaos, the blood, the screams that would ensue. Soon enough the man broke down and informed Loki that you were on the North wing of the cave, last door to the left. Seeing as he didn’t know the layout of the cave, Loki had to delve into the man’s mind to see how it looks like so that he could teleport to your room directly. The god thanked the man coldly and left him on the forest floor to cry.

The sun was about to rise by the time Loki was going to face you. You were stirring in your bed, your biological clock telling you to get up and wake Loki as well. As soon as your eyes adjusted to the dim cave lighting, you realized that you weren’t in Jotunheim anymore. You sighed deeply, wishing so badly you could turn back time and just tell Loki your feelings sooner. But wait, that would mean this is your fault… Which it isn’t. Yes, yes you must be stronger for yourself and stand up for what’s best for you. You decided to tell Álfr that you wanted a gentler repercussion for Loki’s actions. Murder was simply not on your agenda, or anything like war or chaos, because that would be bad for the civilians. 

You sighed and wondered what “gentler” could possibly mean. Perhaps it would be your prolonged absence? Or it could be threats from the mercenaries? No, he would certainly send armies to quench his qualms. You padded over to your bathroom to clean yourself up and meet Álfr for breakfast.

When you came out of the bathroom, still drying your hair, your heart almost leapt out of your chest. 

“Hello, (y/n),” Loki’s voice said somberly.

“You, wha-, huh? Loki what are you doing here,” you hissed the last few words angrily.

“My dear, I would like to apologize a thousand times more, I will not rest, nor stop finding you on the face of the nine realms until you have forgiven me,” Loki said surely, stepping closer and closer to you until he could hold your hands in his.

“Who did you come with? How did you find me?” you asked apprehensively, knowing that Loki had a penchant to be melodramatic.

“I came with no one but myself, my love. As to how I found you, it was quite simple really. Threatening your loyal advisor seemed to do the trick. The same works for the cult’s guard,”

You gasped and sat on the bed. “Poor Hagen and Leiknir” you thought to yourself. It was partially your fault you supposed. Not informing your king where you went suddenly calls for such immediate and drastic actions.

“Shouldn’t you be with _her_ , making sure that your future _child_ is well taken care of?” you asked, not sounding particularly bitter but still cold. 

Loki sighed deeply, intertwining his fingers together. You felt a dip in the bed next to you as he sat down, staring at his feet. “Angrboda left. We don’t know where she is, but a lot of people suspected she has gone into the wilderness…” Loki trailed off, his voice quiet and guarded.

“The guards… why have they not searched for her?”

“I told them not to. If she wants to leave, then it is her choice to do so. I won’t keep a woman in the palace against her wishes,” Loki mused.

You wondered if this was a jab at your actions, but it probably wasn’t since Loki is practically here to drag you back. The room was silent for a while, the sound of breathing making you particularly uncomfortable. Finally Loki took your hands in his and looked you straight in the eyes.

“(y/n) I know it may seem like I didn’t care about you or your feelings. I know I was selfish and inconsiderate of everything we have been though and where we stood. I should have waited for you, and even if you hadn’t confessed your mutual feelings for me, my feelings of you would have remained unchanged. I am asking you to give me one more chance. In my life, not many people are willing to give me that. When I was lackadaisical in learning the ways of the kingdom, you stood by me and patiently guided me in the right direction. You watched me become a king that would never live up to how you would have been as a ruler. And even though everyday I know you are so much better than me in every way, you never fail to make me feel wanted and cared for. I finally feel worthy when I am with you (y/n)”.

Loki’s lips trembled slightly as he finished his candid explanation, his eyes begging you to forgive him. You are at a loss for words, one side of you adamantly wanting your whole self to just forgive him and get on with things. The feeling of his thumb rubbing your hands seeming to envelop you in warmth and peace.

You opened your mouth to say something, but decided against it. So you simply leaned your forehead against Loki’s and pulled your one of your hands free so they could stroke Loki’s raven hair. You were debating with yourself on whether or not you should just relent and go with your heart's desires. You inwardly cursed your feelings for always caving when Loki was around, but you supposed love is a very strong force indeed. “I am not giving you my forgiveness nor am I holding a grudge against you. I cannot deny that I myself have made mistakes that I would regret forevermore. Know this, I am not giving you a second chance because of pity or sympathy, but rather because I know deep down that you are a good man, Loki. I have spent the last months with you, carefully studying your heart, and what I found was that so many people misjudge who you are, and along the way, even you misjudged yourself. Love is about giving people second chances, and I think you won’t fail me on this”. Your whisper was barely audible in the cavernous room, but Loki heard you, and he felt like tears were going to spill out of his eyes.

Eventually he couldn’t hold it back anymore, droplets of warm tears streamed freely down his cheeks as he nodded, understanding and accepting what you gave him. He leaned forward to hug you, pressing your head flush against his warm chest. You wished everything was so simple, no kingdom, no problems, nothing. Just you and Loki together – forever.

When he released you from his embrace, you began tracing your fingers down his chiseled face, missing the way his skin felt against yours. “I won’t let you down (y/n), not ever again,” Loki whispered gently, finally closing the gap between your lips and kissing you lovingly. Oh how wonderful it was to feel the god’s soft lips against yours again. The way your lips parted and melded for each other. The soft noises emanating from your throats as your fingers tangled in each others’ hairs. You wanted more of Loki, to feel him inside you again, so you slowly pushed him down on the bed, crawling on top of him in the process.

Loki barely broke the kiss to gasp for air, wanting to ravage your mouth in every way possible. He was so afraid that you were going to disappear from his life forever, and now that you were here, with him – he never wanted to let you go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut next chapter :D, also things aren't just going to be smooth sailing from here on out


	13. The Recommence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut! and this one was fun to write <3

You finally broke away from the kiss, panting wildly for air. “Loki, I… I’m scared,” you whispered into his chest. You felt his heart beating contentedly under you, and the feeling of his chest rising and falling lulled you closer and closer to sleep. 

“Of what my dear,” Loki softly replied, stroking your (h/c) hair languidly.

“Of the future… of us… what if something like this happens again, what if it’s much worse? What if we don’t please the people as rulers? What if Jotunheim returns to a state of ruin and chaos? What-” Your thoughts were cut short by Loki shushing you gently, tipping your head up to look at him.

“If any of that happens, and if the world comes crashing down, we’ll deal with it – together. You mustn’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. In my thousand years of living, I have learned to tackle problems exactly when it happens. It takes a toll on you to think of things that might never ever cross you. Do you understand, my dear?” Loki explained, his fingers continuing to intertwine in your hair.

“Yes, Loki. But right now-” once again Loki cut you off, but with a kiss this time. “Right now, I want _you_ ,” Loki almost growled, pulling your body closer to his, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. You unconsciously moaned against him, feeling the hardening bulge in his pants against your upper thigh. You felt like it would be slightly wrong to have sex with him so quickly after ‘forgiving’ him, but the wetness you feel pooling in your nether regions tell you to stop thinking so much about it. Loki broke the kiss to flip your positions, pinning you down securely on the bed. His eyes looked positively ravenous, like an animal eyeing its prey. 

“Loki, take me,” you whispered breathlessly, feeling a dull ache in your cunt. “Certainly my dear, but not before I see you come for me,” the god above you whispered roughly parting your legs with his hands quickly. You were in a daze at this point, only consciously lifting your hips slightly to allow Loki to pull your pants and panties off of you. He began peppering small kisses in your inner thigh, teasing you more and more the longer he kept his hands off you. You were gasping desperately for Loki to do something more than this. Loki trailed his longs fingers up and down your thighs, massaging them firmly, squeezing your ass when he thought you stopped paying attention.

“(y/n) I want you to look at me at all times, do you understand?” Loki whispered assertively, holding your jaw firmly in his hand and turning it to face him. All you could do was nod, to which Loki smiled happily at. Smiled perhaps isn’t the right word – it was more like a hungry Cheshire cat grin. His fingers trailed down your cheeks, his thumb rubbing circles on your flushed skin. “Oh you look so beautiful like this (y/n), so helpless under me, so wanton in your need, positively dripping for _your king_ ,” Loki whispered, his voice low and gravelly. You squirmed under his hold, reaching up for his hands to direct them down to your nether regions. The god above you chuckled lowly, “Oh someone is impatient I see… well we can’t have that can we? Perhaps I should just tie you up”.

Your hands stopped their movements right then and Loki smirked, seeing how obedient you are under his ‘threats’. Even though you had stopped ‘being impatient’, Loki was true to his word, reaching down to take both of your hands in his, whispering a spell that created invisible shackles around them. You tried to move your hands, prying them apart, but to no avail. Clearly Loki was enjoying seeing you struggle so badly, whimpering and begging him to break the bonds. “Loki, please I need to touch you, don’t do this,” you begged desperately. “You don’t _need_ to touch me (y/n), but I do so love seeing you beg like this. What would our subjects say if they saw their queen tied up before their king like this? Your legs spread open so _whorishly,_ your cunt throbbing in arousal,” Loki chuckled, seeing your eyes widen slightly at his words.

“They would tell you to fuck me,” you whispered, a mischievous glint in your eyes. Loki raised his eyebrows at your statement, shaking his head amusedly. He decided you had had enough teasing for now, for he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. Loki’s pale fingers finally parted your folds, spreading your wetness around your clit. You wanted to hold any part of Loki so badly, to pull at his hair or just run your nails over his smooth back. His index and middle fingers rubbed firmly over your clit, circling it, drawing different shapes on it, making you gush even more. You felt his ring finger rubbing your labia at the same time, the mixed sensations adding to your pleasure. You were about to beg him to finger you, but thankfully he understood your incoherent moans. Loki coated the fingers of his left hand in your juices before pushing two fingers into your core. You groaned as you felt him rub firmly at your g-spot, the combination of his fingers inside you and on your clit almost too much to bear. He added a third finger soon after, stretching you more for him. “Yes my dear, make those beautiful noises for me,” Loki instructed, to which you gladly obliged.

You were going to come soon, and it didn’t help that Loki would suddenly stop applying pressure to your clit and simply ghost his fingers over it, the lack of rubbing actually arousing you even further. The bed under you was soaking wet for sure, and by the time you were about to unravel completely, you knew that Loki’s hands were covered in your wetness. “Loki, I’m going to- I’m-”

“I know my dear,” Loki whispered. Instead of moving his fingers even faster however, he stopped moving them altogether. You almost screamed at him to continue, but you knew he wouldn’t anyway. He was seriously teasing you know, hovering his sticky fingers above your cunt playfully, drawing little patterns on your inner thighs as you waited patiently for him to continue. You stayed silent throughout the whole thing, only panting in impatience. Loki seemed pleased by your attitude, so he finally pushed his fingers back into you and rubbed your clit with more fervor than previously. It only took a couple of seconds before your cunt clenched around his fingers and your hips bucked wildly. You were in complete bliss for a few moments, all your problems and worries washed away with your orgasm.

“Oh my sweet, you are so wonderful,” Loki mused, making sure you watched him suck every last drop of your juices off of his fingers. “Will you remove the bonds then?” you asked innocently, hoping his satisfaction overruled his need for control. Loki simply chuckled darkly at your request, shaking his head, no. Before you could protest any further, he lifted your legs and flipped you so that you were on your stomach. “On your hands and knees (y/n),” Loki whispered close to your ear, brushing away strands of hair covering your face.

You quickly followed the god’s request, bracing yourself on your weak hands and knees, spreading your legs enough so that Loki could admire your throbbing and swollen pussy. You heard Loki hum contentedly behind you, the sound of fabric rustling indicating that he had discarded his clothes. Loki’s fingers grabbed your hips firmly, his short nails digging into your skin in such a satisfying way. You wiggled your hips in anticipation, urging him to fuck you right now. Thankfully Loki obliged, thrusting his whole length into you with a loud groan from his mouth. The raven-haired god wasted no time in moving his length in and out of you smoothly, your overflowing wetness dripping steadily onto the mattress below.  Loki pressed gentle kisses onto the skin of your back, down to your ass. He sucked along the trail he left, no doubt causing small bruises that would last for a few days.

It didn’t take Loki long before his movements became erratic, thrusting into you with abandon, throwing his head back from the pleasure of your tight hole. You were doing your best to stay on your hands and knees, wanting nothing more than to collapse on the bed and have him take you like a ragdoll. “Oh gods (y/n) I- don’t- want- to- come- yet,” Loki whispered between pants, trying his best to hold his orgasm back painfully. A brilliant idea came to you at that point. You decided to clench your hole even tighter, causing Loki to groan in annoyance and bliss. You were exhausted out of your mind but you kept your wet cunt clenched tightly around Loki, wanting to make him come against his will.

Your plan worked apparently; soon Loki was resting his body above yours, panting and groaning, his sweat dripping on your back. You felt his hot seed filling your core, still clenching to milk every last drop from him. As soon as Loki finished his orgasm, you fell on the bed, Loki moving to your side before joining your position.

“Just when I thought you could follow instructions (y/n),” Loki playfully chastised, shaking his head with a mock-disappointed look on his face.

“Let’s face it, you couldn’t have lasted much longer inside me anyway,” you countered, winking at him before fluttering your eyes closed – too exhausted to banter anymore with the stubborn god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i absolutely adore the doggy position and rough fingering... how about ya'll?


	14. The Renege

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonjour friends

Loki had to leave quietly the next morning, fearing the kingdom won’t go on very smoothly with both of its rulers gone mysteriously. He left a short explanation and kissed your sleeping head lovingly before teleporting back to Jotunheim. When you woke up later that morning, you felt completely rejuvenated and at peace. You admired Loki’s determination to keep the kingdom running smoothly and secretly thanked him for allowing you to take an ‘extended vacation’.

A servant came into your room a few minutes later, carrying a basin of warm water and some linens. “Your highness, master Álfr would like to speak to you over breakfast,” the young woman shyly mentioned, scurrying out of the room before you could thank her. The bath didn’t take very long, since the damp cave air made you feel too sticky and humid to stay naked too long. You joined Álfr at the dining room as usual and began eating your bread quietly.

“Have you made a decision, (y/n?),” Hagen asked cautiously.

“Yes, yes I have Álfr,” You piped up, a little too cheerful for what he expected. “I have decided to let it go. King Loki has not betrayed my trust before this, hence I deemed it reasonable to give him one more chance. I myself have made quite a lot of regrettable mistakes in my youth, and I do know he is a _good_ person Álfr”. 

Álfr looked taken aback. His eyebrows were raised and his right hand rested over his heart in shock. “Are you sure my queen?” He whispered, coming closer to you to inspect if you have in fact lost your mind. “Yes Álfr, I am positive. I also think it would be better for the people to avoid any kind of chaos, especially in the first few decades of Loki’s rule,” you answered happily, taking Álfr’s hands in yours to squeeze them reassuringly.

Álfr paled considerably, leaning back in his chair to stare off into space. “My queen… in my… decades of being in this business, I have a certain, let’s just call it _intuition_ on how things will play out. More often than not, they don’t work out, which is why so many people from the nine realms seek our services. Your um, king, has lived longer than you, something that I know you are aware of. In his hundreds of years in Asgard, he has committed many many many mistakes, a handful of them similar to your predicament right now,” Álfr paused to rub his eyes tiredly, and you simply waited patiently for him to continue – not wanting to believe he’s right. “When um, when your father died, (y/n), one of the last things he told me to do was that if ever you returned to Vaneheim, especially if you returned for our services, that I had to do my utmost to protect your wellbeing-”

“And you have Álfr! I know you would protect me and I thank you for that,” you cut him off, smiling and nodding vigorously at the old man.

“-Which also means I have to do things that I deem best, things that you may not agree with,” Álfr continued without a beat, earning him a confused look from you.

“What have you done, Álfr?” you asked quizzically, your brows knitted together.

“I-” just as Álfr began explaining, two male servants entered the dining hall and bowed low.

“Master Álfr, presenting your highnesses, King Odin, ruler of the nine realms and Prince Thor, son of Odin, heir of the nine realms,” one of the servants announced, bowing low as the two men entered. Your heart was beating like mad right now, wondering why the hell would Odin and Thor visit Álfr of all people. A part of you also panicked because you broke Loki out of prison after all. Your body seemed to move on autopilot, standing to curtsy low before Odin and his son, sitting back down as soon as they did. Your mind was spinning, racing, was Álfr lying to you this whole time? He must have! He’s been consorting with Odin whether you said yes to the plans or not. Damn this man. Damn him to Nilfheim.

“(y/n), (y/n)!” Odin’s booming voiced pierced through your internal anger, causing you to panic even more and face him immediately. “Yes your highness!” you answered, sitting in a more graceful posture.

“(y/n) we cannot be here for long, hence you must listen carefully to our proposition. You must be very confused right now. Rest assured Álfr has not betrayed you. It is simply what we have commanded him to do. Have you ever wondered why no warrant for your arrest or Loki’s came from Asgard after you released him?” Odin calmly stated, earning a slow nod from you as a sign of affirmation. 

“No arrest came because we did not want to jeopardize the sensitive politics between our realms. We had decided ruling Jotunheim could do him well, sating his need for a position of power. We were aware that you would be guiding and tutoring him, and because of your excellent reputation across the nine realms, we had confidence that you would train him well. We were not wrong in that confidence, you have made Loki a very well received ruler. However, we made a contingency plan when something goes wrong,” you winced a little at this, Odin had _known_ something was bound to go wrong. It wasn’t even an if, it’s _when_ , “As the ruler of the nine realms, I know of your origins, and how the only place you would go to aside from Jotunheim would be Vaneheim, back to your father’s cult. We have informed Álfr since Loki’s release that if you should ever come to him seeking help regarding Loki, that he should inform me immediately”. 

You were silent for a while, half of you angry and half you appalled. How dare Odin get into this! This was your personal problem – granted as queen and king it is immediately the realm’s problem. “So why are you here? What’s the proposition?” You coldly inquired, your eyes dead set on Odin’s one eye.

“The proposition, dear (y/n) is for you to rule Jotunheim instead of Loki,” Odin firmly said. Your jaw dropped, suddenly standing up in your chair. “I refuse to have Asgard control our kingdom, your highness,” you whispered harshly, knowing full well it’s incredibly rude for you to do so.

“Sit down, please (y/n),” Odin commanded, to which you followed.

“Naturally as the ruler of the nine realms, I am aware of all the heirs of them. We approved of you long before you knew how to walk. A child of Vaneheim ruling in Jotunheim could do the realms some good. A merger if you will. We are also aware however, that Laufey wished Loki to take the throne. Naturally, we assumed you would not follow your late father’s wishes. Predicaments such as yours have occurred countless times in the past, and the future heir never ever gives up their throne willingly. It is obvious that we were wrong about your character. Loki has irresponsibly had an heir with a woman who has run away. This is incredibly shameful if anyone should find out, (y/n) and it is simply not tolerable-”

“Many kings have had children with women who are not their queen your highness, why single Loki out?” you interrupted, yet again, earning a sigh from the old king.

“We single Loki out because he has committed a great amount of transgressions in the past. Our plan was to leave Jotunheim, you and Loki alone only until he has committed another transgression. Evidently he did so quite soon, breaking out confidence in him yet again,” Odin coldly explained, much to your horror.

“I- I-,” you were frankly speechless, not knowing what to do.

“(y/n), Loki is an unpredictable and unstable character, and you know it. He simply cannot keep the peace between Jotunheim and the other realms - especially Asgard. History does not lie – a man does not change in a year, despite his newfound interest in you and his birth realm. You do care about Jotunheim more than anything don’t you, (y/n)?” Odin pried, his eyes enticing you to agree.

“Yes- Yes of course my king, I would die for Jotunheim any day,” you muttered, looking down at your hands instead of at him.

"Loki would never do such a thing for his people," Thor whispered to himself, earning an appalled look from you. 

“You do not want to see your people suffer do you? You do not want a bloodbath to happen in Jotunheim?” Odin’s voice rose steadily. 

“No! Of course not…” your voice died down as you realized this was exactly where Odin wanted your mind to travel.

“You do not really have a choice in this (y/n). You could agree to this peacefully and hand Loki back to our custody, or we could arrest him by force and coronate you on the same day. We trust you will make the best decision,” Thor spoke up, his voice no less authoritative than Odin’s, but it was a little kinder. 

“I understand your highnesses. I shall let you know of my decision no later than tonight,” you whispered, staring down at your sweaty palms. 

Odin nodded in agreement, getting up promptly before heading out the door. Thor followed suit, but before the blond god exited, he quickly reached out to grab your arm and whisper in your ear, “(y/n) do not be deceived into protecting my brother. He is a skillful manipulator and whatever faith you have in him is gravely misplaced. Trust me, I have been the victim to his lies too many times”. Thor waited for you to look him in the eyes and nod. He held your gaze a while longer, his blue eyes strangely hypnotic before letting you go and leaving the dining hall. 

You sat, slumped over in your chair in silence. Álfr didn’t dare say anything after that, letting your thoughts settle down first. Of course your mind was racing non-stop. If you were given a hypothetical situation like this, you would no doubt hand over Loki as soon as possible. You always prided yourself to be a logical and wise leader after all.

Well apparently real life isn’t as simply as that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look more conflict! (it really does give me joy to make a story as miserable as possible before a happy ending) :D


	15. The Retaliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goodness guys i havent updated in so long! sorry but school started and i dont have as much time to write. rest assured theres only a couple of chapters left so keep reading and following this. i swear i wont abandon this fic.

What do you do? What  _could_ you do? There was only one clear option. Give in peacefully. No, no, no, no, how could you possibly do that?! Holy mother of god that was  _not_ an option. You wondered if it was Loki in your position, would he give you up? No, probably not. He’s been betrayed so many times by the people he loved, he couldn’t possibly do that unto others – especially you.

You couldn’t possibly return to Jotunheim to talk to Loki, nor could you send a message, it would surely be intercepted in some way. This was all on you. There was one option left. You couldn’t possibly decide on that though… it’s way too risky.

War.

It’s really that or Loki. You didn’t doubt the people of Jotunheim would be willing to fight for their king – after all, all wars are ultimately fought to protect the land and the king. If you gave up Loki so easily, it could be perceived as an act of cowardice. Even if you were crowned the all-powerful ruler of Jotunheim, the people would never trust you anymore. Perhaps you should consult Odin about this possible problem. No, he wouldn’t understand – everyone could be forced into subjugation after all. 

You supposed this was it. War it is. Jotunheim hasn’t been in a war for a very long time, hence there are plenty of healthy young men and women who could be conscripted into the army. Odin and Thor wouldn’t bring an army to escort Loki out, but you will be ready with yours. Everything has to be planned perfectly and clandestinely. There has to be a shielding spell on at all times around the army bases so as to escape Heimdall’s all seeing eye. Damn Heimdall.

Filled with adrenaline and fear, you made up your mind for real. You decided to tell Odin that you would ‘hand’ over Loki in a month, so that you had time to prepare for the ensuing battle. Asgard has a powerful army, but you would rather go down fighting than a coward. The excuse you’re going with is that administrative business needs to be settled first before there could be new a ruler. 

* * *

Later that night, over supper you asked Álfr where Odin and his son were. You were sweating out of your palms and back, anxious to tell them the news. Álfr merely chuckled in response, stating that your reply will be delivered in message form – as if it wasn’t obvious enough they wouldn’t be staying for supper. You informed him of your decision that you would peacefully cooperate, which Álfr’s butler quickly made note of and deliver.

After supper, you returned to your chambers and began packing all your belongings. You were going to return to Jotunheim tonight to tell Loki of the plan, since there’s not a moment to waste. 

You decided it was better not to tell Álfr you were leaving, opting instead to write him a note for him to read later. Despite Álfr’s kindness and ‘genuine care’ towards your wellbeing, you can’t help resenting him for forcing to wage a war against Asgard.

* * *

 

“My darling!” Loki exclaimed at you from within the throne room. After several servants took care of your belonging, you slumped on the throne next to him and heaved a sigh of fatigue. “Hello Loki,” you whispered sadly. His eyebrows rose at your tone, clearly not expecting you to be so down in the dumps reuniting with him.

“What is it my love?” Loki inquired, stroking your hand gently with his fingers. “Later… join me in the war chamber when you’re ready,” you vaguely instructed. You didn’t stick around to see Loki’s face contort in surprise and panic, quickly making your way to said chamber. Several maids went to fetch Hagen and Leiknir, as well as Wagner, the chief of the army. Thinking of Wagner caused you to cringe internally, remembering Angrboda. That problem seemed for trivial compared to this one brewing.

Loki joined you in the war chamber several minutes after you came in and took your seat to the right of the head chair. All four of the men waited with bated breath, wondering why they were summoned back to the eerie and rarely used war chamber.

“Who is it?” Hagen whispered, his voice low and cautious. You took a deep breath and folded your palms together before explaining. “It’s Asgard-”

You barely even started talking before shouts and protests erupted in the room from all the men. Wagner very nearly flipped the heavy mahogany table over, his face pale and livid. “Excuse me? You can’t possible mean _that_ Asgard,” Loki asked, slamming his hands in front of yours. “Everybody please sit down, I can explain,” you sighed, prompting the men to all reluctantly take their seats.

“For reasons that were not relevant to any of you except Loki, I returned to Vaneheim where I was born to seek solitude and peace. I sought out the cult leader who replaced my late father to allow me shelter, so that the Vanir kingdom would not shed attention on myself. Little did I know, however that Álfr, the cult leader had consulted Odin and his son regarding my… problem in Jotunheim. That prompted Odin to arrive in Vaneheim, instructing me to… to… take the throne instead of Loki, for he has proven himself incapable and volatile. He told me I could either agree peacefully or wage war, to which of course I chose the latter-” 

“You did what?” Loki shouted, his face paling considerably.

You rolled your eyes and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Do you really think I would be telling all of you this if I betrayed you?” you explained slowly, as if to a child.

“Well uh, well no. I’m so sorry (y/n), as you know Asgard and imprisonment bears bad memories for me, so naturally I was apprehensive,”

“Right, anyway. I only told Odin that obviously to give us a head start,” you said, the men in front of you suddenly more intrigued than scared.

“What is your plan my queen?” Wagner inquired. 

“My plan is to let Odin apprehend Loki this time in a month, and while he does so unsuspecting of our ill motives, we would ambush him and his son, protecting our king,” you explained. The plan sounded more ‘sane’ in your head, but perhaps that was because you were mulling it over so much.

Hagen and Leiknir gasped at the same time. Eyes wide, Hagen asked, “My queen, you don’t mean to kill him… do you?”

You heart skipped a beat at what he said. Even though you knew the war chamber was protected by a charm that wouldn’t allow Heimdall to look or listen within it, you were still afraid this would reach Odin somehow. “If… if it comes to that, yes,” you whispered.

The room was silent for a while. Finally Loki spoke up, “We would lose thousands, even millions of soldiers… is it all worth it?”

Hagen, Leiknir and Wagner all stared at him strangely. “Of course we would, what is the point of war if not to protect our king and home?” Leiknir said.

“My thoughts exactly!” you piped up. You knew the army was sufficient and impressive enough to engage in real battle, since Jotunheim hasn’t gone to war in so long. Perhaps Odin would prefer diplomacy over sending his own troops, that would certainly be preferable. The last time Asgard and Jotunheim went to war, it did not end well for either side, and considering the unrest that’s happening within the nine realms, Odin might actually sit this one out. After all, Loki wasn’t doing anything to jeopardize Asgard (at least not yet), and the problem was only between you and him.

As you were lost in a daze of worry and comforting yourself, you didn’t realize Wagner standing up abruptly and banging his hands on the table. “We shall go to war then,” he stated firmly, earning approving glances from everyone around the table. War never seems to fail to capture men’s attentions, especially the patriotic ones. 

You just hoped for everyone’s sake that Odin would be kind for once.


	16. The Relinquishing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh lord i've been writing this chapter for two months! I'm so sorry for the late update, but this is the penultimate chapter yay

“(y/n)” Hagen piped up suddenly.

You put down the old tome you were reading and mumbled an “mhm?”

“Why are we going into battle? You never actually told us the reason… I don’t want to pry but if I were to die, I would like to know why.”

You knew Hagen was only joking darkly, but that struck a chord in you.

“Hagen… I would tell you but I don’t think I’m ready just yet. Will you hve faith in me as your queen and friend?”

Hagen nodded in response. “Of course my queen, I would follow you to the end of time, please do not _ever_ doubt that,”

“Thank you Hagen. It seems that everyday there are less people to trust in the world”. You were lost in your own thoughts for a few minutes, stroking the leather cover of the book in your lap.

“My queen… are you experiencing trouble with our king… I don’t want to be impertinent, but I feel like I have a responsibility to protect you, since I have done so every since you were but a girl,” Hagen cautiously inquired.

An inner struggle was brewing in your mind. Should you confide in Hagen? You were afraid if you began, you wouldn’t be able to stop. The last time you had confided in someone, it was Álfr and he had ‘betrayed’ you. You decided against confiding too much. All you replied was, “you could say so… but it’s not important anymore”.

Hagen seemed to think about this for a few moments, his fingers rested on his chin. “Hmm… my queen, if I may be so bold as to advise you on your personal life,” you nodded for him to continue. “I have been married for decades now, and something I have come to understand is that faith is the most important thing of all. When you truly love someone, you have to trust that they’ll respect and honor you. I am sure you know Loki better than I, but I have noticed that you bring out the best in him. I’ve never seen you as content as when you are with him you know,” Hagen reached over to hold your hands in his. “Give him time, I’m sure our king is a good man. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t have given him your love”.

Hagen sat back in his large armchair and continued writing his letters.

“Thank you Hagen, I really appreciate that,” you smiled at him gratefully.

Later that night you decided to dine with Loki in your shared chambers instead of at the dining hall. Dinner was served in complete silence, only the sound of plates clanking against the table echoing around the spacious room.

You took a sip of the dark red wine in front of you, carefully eyeing Loki. He looked agitated, his eyes darting between his food and the hands on his lap. Several minutes passed before you gave him a small smile across the table and began eating. The tension grew in the room as you noticed Loki had not touched his food. A small sigh escaped your lips, noticing that Loki was probably going into one of his ‘silent tantrums’ again. As you swallowed your roast beef, Loki picked up his knife and fork only to drop it rather loudly on his silver plate. His breathing grew louder, escalating to almost hyperventilation. You made sure to swallow completely before getting up to stand behind the god. Your (s/c) arms wrapped around Loki’s tense shoulders.

“Dear what’s on your mind?” you inquired softly, gently stroking the man’s raven hair. Loki sighed deeply, taking your hands in his and placing a chaste kiss on them. “Everything is wrong. Don’t you understand? I’m cursed! I could never be happy as long as I live. I have tried to be a good man and yet only misery follows. I tried to be a bad man and yet more sorrow still haunts me. I don’t understand why I’ve deserved this (y/n)…” Loki trailed off, staring at his lap somberly. “I don’t want you to do this for me. You deserve better, I don’t want any more people to die because of me”.

You took a few deep breaths before kneeling in front of him. “Loki, I _want_ to do this. Don’t you understand that I need you to be safe as much as you do?” Loki didn’t answer you, only continuing to look positively downtrodden. “Do you love me?” you whispered, his green orbs looking up to meet yours.

“Of course I do, to the end of the nine realms and more, you know this,”

“Then let me do this. Do not fret, if I die, if our people die, it is to protect our honor,”

Loki nodded slowly in understanding. You smiled comfortingly, a hint of sorrow lingering behind your (e/c) eyes.

“You know what, let’s skip dinner shall we. Routine seems so mundane in lieu of recent happenings,” you chuckled. Loki smiled in agreement and left the dining table with you. He sat on a plush leather couch and you joined him on his lap. The fire crackling in front of you was almost enough to convince you that nothing wrong was happening. How did you let things get so… terribly out of order?     

Your eyes felt heavier as Loki stroked your (h/c) hair slowly. “Shhh just sleep my dear,” Loki whispered gently. A small part of you wanted to kick yourself for sleeping, when everything was finally calm, but eventually you succumbed to slumber.

Loki carried you to the plush bed and watched as your chest rose and fall steadily.

He decided right then and there as he watched your eyelashes flutter and a soft mewl escaped your lips.

He can’t let you do this.  


	17. Full Circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoy this last chapter! i'm going to write a sort of crimson peak inspired fic next!

Loki made up his mind. This would be his last night here in Jotunheim if the universe was especially cruel. If he was being honest, this option was always the only one. He couldn’t let you and Jotunheim go to war over him, which was ridiculous. They would most certainly lose, and if they didn’t, well Asgard is not particularly famed for mercy. Honestly the only thing Loki feared was your anger when you realized he turned himself in to Odin. He knew you would go against your better judgment and try to save him or actually attack Asgard. However, he also knew you were a natural born leader and probably would not risk your brethren.

The raven-haired god read over the letter he penned an hour ago and decided it was just enough explanation. It read:

_My dear (y/n), the love of my life, the one that breathes life into my breast_

_When you wake tomorrow morning, I will not be here anymore. Please read this whole letter through before deciding to do anything rash. I have gone to Asgard willingly, for I love you and Jotunheim too much to let everything you have worked for go to waste. This is my choice, and please do not blame yourself for it. I will be alright and you will be too. Continue being the rightful leader of Jotunheim and make sure your kingdom prospers forevermore. This was never the life I was meant to lead in the first place, but you have given me so much more than I deserve. You showed me kindness and mercy when I deserved none. Trust that I will think of you every day until I am no more, and I hope you will remember me from time to time. Please do not do anything that will endanger Jotunheim or yourself, this is my only request to you. I will remain in Asgard perfectly content for the rest of my days if you stay in Jotunheim and keep everyone safe. If there are words stronger than I love you, I will utter it a thousand times more, but as there is none, I hope my actions speak louder than my words. I love you to the ends of the nine realms and back, do not mourn my actions, for you deserve all the happiness in the world. I believe the universe still looks out for me, for I met you and never in my lifetime would I have predicted that._

_Now the night is coming to an end, the sun will rise and we will try again._

-       _Your loyal companion, admirer and lover, Loki Laufeyson._

Loki looked at your sleeping frame, your face devoid of any worry or stress and he knew this was the right decision. He wanted your face to stay that way as long as you lived, and he knew it wouldn’t be possible if he stayed with you. The god leaned down and pressed a loving kiss on your forehead and whispered, “Until we meet again, dear”.

With that parting note, he closed his eyes and transported himself to Asgard. 

* * *

 Odin looked positively awestruck as the palace guards pinned Loki’s arms behind his back.

“Odin I mean no harm,” Loki chuckled, tendrils of his raven locks falling over his eyes.

“Then why are you here? Surely you did not come on your own accord,” Odin asked, his one eye narrowing suspiciously.

“Oh but I did. (y/n) made you a promise did she not?” Loki quipped back.

Odin did not reply for a few minutes, finally nodding his head in understanding. “She is not as reckless as I thought she would be. She must not love you enough Loki,” Odin smiled. “Guards take him to his regular cell,” Odin ordered calmly.

Loki’s jaw tightened as the guards manhandled him down the familiar staircase to the dungeons. His books, leather armchair and modest bed all looked the same as it did the day you broke him out of prison. The guards left him in the well lit cell and he slunk to the floor to cry.

The gravity of the situation finally hit him like a ton of bricks and all Loki could think about is how devastated you would be when you saw the note in a few hours. Surely you don’t deserve any more pain in your life, but he knew it would be for the best in the long run.

* * *

 

A few hours passed and Loki re-read his favorite collection of short stories. In Jotunheim you were finally roused from your sleep and immediately sat up as you realized Loki was gone. It wouldn’t be the first time he wasn’t in bed in the morning, but something felt different about today. You noticed the note lying on top of his pillow with a single red rose and skimmed over it.

Your body felt paralyzed. It was as if everything in the world stilled and the dust became magnified around you. Your eyes trailed over every corner, crevice and furniture in the room, denying that Loki actually did this. The first emotion to hit you was anger. You felt absolutely betrayed by his stupidity. Why would he do this to you? Didn’t you tell him enough that this was your choice to protect him? How absolutely idiotic it is for him to go and surrender to the enemy? Didn’t he know better than anyone not to show cowardice to Asgard? Quickly you dressed yourself and ran to the door to summon Hagen and Leiknir, but when your fingers reached the door handles, you stopped yourself.

Perhaps this is for the better, perhaps Loki was right. You sank down to the floor slowly and just sat there. Morning became noon and noon became night. Your lips were chapped from the cold air and your stomach growled angrily at the lack of food. There was nothing left to do. Nothing felt right anymore and you were absolutely numb. The finality of it all felt so damning, so terribly all-encompassing and you chuckled to yourself darkly.

A knock on the door startled you. “My queen, may I come in?” Hagen whispered. “Yes of course,”

You stood up to allow Hagen and Leiknir to enter the room and sat on your bed instead. Hagen and Leiknir knew not to pry, so you handed them the letter, now crumpled and tear stained. The two giants read the letter through, twice before nodding solemnly and sitting on the bed with you.

“It’s going to be alright right?” You whispered after a long silence.

Hagen and Leiknir nodded quickly and side-hugged you.

You laughed at yourself, “We’re going to move on. We’re going to be okay,” you added, finally coming to terms with what has happened.

* * *

 

Months passed, Loki lost track of how long he has been in prison for. He began counting the days but eventually gave up. Some nights he shivered in anxiety and sadness, but other nights he felt numb. He requested another pillow to hold against his chest at night to remind him that you still exist, and that he still loves you. Sometimes he would write letters to you, only to tear them to shreds and scatter them in the fire.

Some nights Loki had to admit he wanted you to save him again. No matter how chivalrous or selfless he was when he turned himself in, he is after all, only a man. He longed for the sudden shattering of glass, the condescending tone you used on him that first day. He spent days on end playing this fantasy in his head, editing what he would say to you, how he would immediately kiss you if he had the chance.

He wondered how the kingdom is, if you were happy and maybe if you had fallen in love again. Sometimes he felt tempted to ask for news of Jotunheim from the servant that brings his food, but he decided it was better to create his own versions of reality.

Lately Loki’s new ‘hobby’ is journaling. He wrote down everything that happened to him in Jotunheim, what he learned from it and how much he loved you. He wrote stories of how his life would be if he was still in Jotunheim. He rationalized his decision to surrender and kept reminding himself this was the right choice. Sonnets, poems, songs and letters were written to you in the journal, perhaps for you to read in the far future.

That night, Loki finished penning a short story about a young man on a journey as his dinner was brought to him.

“Your highness, I was told to tell you that tomorrow you will be moved,” the young servant informed him, casting her eyes downwards.

“Where?”

“Here, read this, it has everything you need to know,” the servant whispered.

As the young woman left Loki skimmed through the letter and saw that he was being transferred to Nilfheim. His eyebrows rose in confusion, but did not question it further. He quickly finished his dinner and went to lie down on the bed. Why Nilfheim?

The next morning, Loki’s cell was invaded by four burly men ready to transport him to Nilfheim. Loki went with them without struggling and walked down the narrow hallway that would take them to the prison entrance of Asgard. Once Loki felt the grass beneath his booted feet, he sighed a sigh of relief. It felt nice to be outside, even if it was just for the journey to imprisonment. The sky was still dark and the crickets were chirping. Loki was so absorbed by his observations that he was taken aback when one of the guards, in one swift motion stabbed the other three. His jaw dropped and he walked backwards slowly. His cuffed hands rendered him helpless as the last surviving guard removed the hood of his cloak. Loki watched as a soft green light surrounded the guard and slowly, the large man with scars for a face transformed into you.

Loki couldn’t move, he was absolutely starstruck. “What are you standing there for dumbass, come on, let’s go!” You mock-shouted, taking his hand in yours and together breaking into a sprint.

“Where are we going?” Loki inquired, breathlessly.

“Nilfheim. I have a plan,” You smiled mischievously, “Trust me, I always know what to do”.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4901050/chapters/11240404
> 
> here's my new fic it's tom hiddleston/reader. check it out if you'd like <3


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